CONTRACT POSITION

{13} (MISS) CALIBRATION

They sat on the sofa for a while until they realized their recipes needed to be completed. 

She didn't know how to act. No one had ever broken through to her like this, so she focused on the recipe,, and she tried to make Chris do the same. 

He couldn't. He kept looking at her and smiling. Now that his feelings were out in the open, he felt like he could express himself freely, and he was happy. 

She glanced in his direction every so often, only to find a goofy giggling Chan, looking back at her.  "Gosh he's cute when he's like this! Now I know what Seungmin and Felix feel like."

"Can I sleep over?"

"What? No! Absolutely not, sir!" 

"Why not?" He whined. 

"Because I don't just let any random man spend the night!"

"I'm not any random man, I'm your boyfriend!"

Hearing him say that out loud made her stomach turn. 

"My boyf-? Oh Lord, what am I even doing?"

She felt like a pervert, and she couldn't shake it. She was struggling.  

"Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds? My boyfriend? I, a forty year old woman, am going to be the girlfriend of a twenty six year old young man!? Oh my god, that sounds like I need to be on some sort of registry!

"No. You can't spend the night, and..." Her negative thoughts took over again. "Ohhh! Wait a minute. Is that what this is all about? Sex? 

"You thought you could get your "be in bed with an older woman" man-badge with me?"

"Teresa I don't-" 

"Shut up! Please get out. I should have known better than to let my guard down. The story just keeps repeating. The boy just wanted to score with his teacher. Not today "to catch a Predator! Not today!" 

"Get out of my apartment. Our lessons are over. You can go learn Spanish from the Tapas place down the road and Duolingo, not me. I'm done, and for good measure, you better tell the rest of the Strays that there is zero chance of scoring with the teacher. The leader struck out." 

During that whole tirade Teresa didn't notice the tears in Chan's eyes. 

He couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Teresa, please don't do this. I'm sorry. That isn't what's going on at all. I didn't mean to insult you, I just wait to spend time with you. I'm not like the others. Please don't kick me out. I wasn't even thinking about sex!" 

She gave him a look that if her eyes had been weapons, he would've been dead on the spot. 

"Bullshit!!!"

"Okay, okay. I'm not going to lie. I'll be real with you. Of course I have thought about making love to you one day. I'm not a monk, and you are sexy as fuck! Damn, lady! Have you looked in the mirror? What man in their right mind wouldn't desire you?"

"I knew it! How could I be so dumb!? That's what they all–"

"Teresa!" He raised his voice, startling her. 

"Are you kidding me right now? What about you? You're going to tell me you haven't fantasized about me sexually? Wattpad stories and thirst videos? I know what Stay say about me, and what they'd like to do with me. You call me your daddy!"

"You did that to yourself!!" Don't yell at me, mister!"

"You're not the only one who gets to yell. I'm angry! You're really going to reduce me to a horny little boy? Or maybe that's what you wanted to hear all along, yeah? 

"I have been nothing but sincere and loving gentleman to you, but maybe I shouldn't have? Would that have been better? Should I have been a freak?"

Tears were pouring out of his eyes. He was mad, and she could tell. She hurt him. 

"Maybe instead of saying I love you, I should have just asked to fuck you! Maybe I should've taken you right here on this kitchen counter instead of confessing to you, and asking to kiss you. Do you know how scared I was? Did you not feel me shaking?"

He was sobbing. "Would that have fit your narrative?" He got close to her. "Should I have grabbed you by the pussy, and just slapped your ass with my dick?"

"Christopher!!" She yelled.

He yelled back. "Don't 'Christopher' me, ma'am! That's what you just reduced me to! You've reduced my love to a MILF Porn Hub film."

 "I just asked to spend the night with my girlfriend, or rather, who I thought was my girlfriend; who I thought would want to spend time with me." 

He put his hands on his head and his eyes were unfocused dancing from side to side, not landing at a single location. "You know what? I AM gonna go, and I will cancel the lessons for the rest of the week. I can't look at you right now."

He wrapped his head in his arms, and closed his eyes. He tried regaining his composure and made himself lock eyes with her. "I love you Teresa, I do. I am sure this is love, but if you can't get over this age thing, and you are unable to trust me, maybe you're right, and we shouldn't do this at all." His voice broke. The thought of not being with her broke him as well. 

"Let me tell you one more thing. Do not project your insecurities and your biases onto me. That's insulting. I'm not a horny little boy. 

"I am the man who loves you, all of you, and I  want to make this clear... Yes, that includes loving your body, and I won't apologize for that, but if all you see is a kid who wants to bang his teacher, then you don't see me, and if you don't see me, how can you say you love me? 

"I entered this with eyes wide open. I am fully aware of our age difference and the kind of future that could bring us, but I don't care. I just love you. Maybe I'm not the one being immature here, and maybe you're not as free as you thought you were" He picked up his things and slammed the door as he left.