Janet
I watched as she sat down on the couch and I sat far enough from her that another person could sit in between. I can tell by her energy and face that she didn't come here with good intentions. So it was obvious that she was the person this whole time, which broke my heart even more. "How are you doing, Jan?"
"I'm doing really well. So happy to be safe again."
"Yeah, that's always good, but someone of your status is never fully safe."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, with your level of fame, someone is always going to be after you."
"That's true."
"That must be scary to think about."
"It is."
"And I bet you wish you could get away from it."
"Yeah."
"Maybe one day that'll happen." I looked at her as she stared back at me.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, one day you won't have to worry. The public will eventually turn to the next big thing and you can live your life in peace or, knock on wood, you find peace in heaven with your brother. That's my hope for you."
"You make it sound like I'm dying tomorrow." I chuckled and she stared.
"Well, people can go any day. You must know that."
"I do."
"Then you wouldn't be surprised if today was the day that you were once again united with your brother."
"No, I wouldn't."
"Of course not. I mean that's what you really want."
"You don't know what I want." She smiled.
"You're right, I don't know what you want, but I know what I want."
"And that is?"
"You.."
"Me?" I asked confused.
"Yes, you....out of the way."
"What am I in the way of, Allison?"
"Me."
"How?"
"You're getting everything that I deserve. You have the career, the money, the man, the family and you don't even appreciate it. In fact you tried to kill yourself to get away from it. Then you were upset that your attempt didn't work. So I want to give you your dream of the sweet peace that comes with death."
"How gracious of you."
"I thought so. It's not like you appreciate this life anyway." I looked at the signal light on the wall. The detective put it up there to let me know when to move into the correct position for the plan.
Looking at Allison, I thought about how I once saw something in her; so much potential and Grace. Now that was gone and was left with envy, anger, and hate. Further down, I saw no sense of remorse. Especially when I thought about how planned out this was. She collected information and watched me for months while also smiling in my face. For someone that angered me more than the possibility that she'd kill me right now.
In a way, she took advantage of me, my kindness, my friendship and love. For some reason that keeps happening. Almost everyone has done that to me and I've let slide. I immediately remembered some advice I received not that long ago.
During the filming of 'For Colored Girls,' I had confided in my costars, Phylicia Rashad and Loretta Devine. I was going through it hard with Wissam and didn't know how to fix it. I expressed concern for loyalty and happiness among us both. That day, they both told me something that, at the time, didn't seem relevant but in this moment it came back to me.
