Enough For You | 18+ | ✓

37: logan

I feel like I can't breathe. I don't trust myself to sit next to Hunter—really to be in the same room as him if I'm being honest—because I don't trust that I won't throw myself at him. I'm hurt and angry, but I'm also just fucking sad.

The only way I can tell Hunter's hurting too is his eyes. There's dark shadows under his eyes and the green is a dull mossy color opposed to the vibrant green they typically are.

He's just sitting there staring at me without saying anything.

"Four minutes." I say, proud of my voice for not cracking.

It seems to jolt him out of whatever thoughts were in his head. What I would give to know what he's thinking right now.

"I'm sorry." He says and I cross my arms over my chest.

"Yeah, I heard you the first time."

I'm not sure what he's expecting, but Hunter motions to everything he brought with him. I have no idea how he managed to carry all of it, but I can't deny it was impressive.

"I made you a CD with songs that remind me of you. I made too many batches of cookies to try and make sure they were edible to show you that I'm willing to put in the work for us. I brought you a cup of your favorite coffee to show you that I listen to what you say and what you like." He pauses, dragging a hand through his blond waves before looking at me nervously. "I brought the flowers to show you that I love you and you're my favorite person, even if I'm not yours anymore."

What.

The.

Fuck.

Am.

I.

Supposed.

To.

Say.

After.

That.

I don't have the chance to even figure it out before Hunter continues. "I respect that I've hurt you. I'm not telling you I love you to try and manipulate you. I'm sorry for if that's how it's coming across." Hunter exhales a shaky breath, his eyes flicking nervously to meet mine before looking away again. "I didn't mean to do that at the bar when I told you that. I know it's not going to make everything okay, but I think it's important for you to know that I do love you."

Oh fuck.

I have to remember why I'm mad at him otherwise I'll cave. I will cave right this instant, but I would be so disappointed in myself.

"Thank you for acknowledging that saying I love you in that moment was manipulative. I don't think you meant it that way, but that's what it was." I say, choosing my words carefully. "I miss you. I won't try to lie and say that I don't." His face lights up with hope and I shake my head. "But I don't trust you. I've been replaying every moment that we've ever spent together trying to figure out what was real and what was you trying to sleep with me to win a bet."

The hope on his face dies as quickly as it appeared. "It was all real except for that first time I ran into you at the bars and I hit on you. I then woke up with Klaire the next day and I didn't like being that guy. After the call with your mom where she asked me about Bailey, I was mad." My eyes widen because yeah, I knew that he was mad and I was in the wrong, but it still sucks to hear. "Shit, no I wasn't mad at you." Hunter clarifies quickly. "I was mad at myself because I was everything you accused me of being. I was mad because I made this bet that made me feel like a shitty person and I didn't want to be that person. Then, the next time I saw you, you still apologized to me despite the fact I was a monumental asshole. After that, everything was real." He answers honestly. "You can trust me Logan. I've been nothing but honest with you."