Doomed "to live"

Chapter 10 (The walk)

We walked through the cold streets of Paris. The weather was fine - the sun was shining. Birds were chirping in the tree trunks, getting ready for summer. Although the atmosphere was uplifting, I felt like a third wheel next to Benedict and his sister... They were talking about summer memories, but I didn't engage in conversation - I kept quiet. That's the way I am - you can't change anything... I secretly wished that Benedikt had been with me. I know you can't trust him at first sight, but it seemed that I knew him for more than 1 day... He reminded me of my childhood friend Eliot. We used to spend every day together until his parents moved to Spain. Then our friendship was broken. When I was 19, he promised on the phone to come back, but he never did. It's been 5 years since that last call... How I wish I could see him once more...

-Are you all right, Liliana...? - Benediktas asked

-Yes, just thoughts flying somewhere else.

-Listen up, young people! I'll be on my way, and you spend time together! - said Monika

-W-what?! Monica, please don't leave me with him! He'll... Umm... He'll eat me alive!

-Don't fantasize, dear friend! I know you're jealous! Your thoughts are just an excuse not to talk to people! I know you very well!

-...

-"Mother, brother, how did I silence her? Look, it's red, like a strawberry!

-Sesut, will that do? What am I supposed to do in this situation?! One of them is laughing and the other one is about to fall to the floor in tears!

-Don't exaggerate, OK? Chow strawberries! - exclaimed Monika

-Here Bela!

-"I'm sorry that my sister has been talking nonsense... She just likes to mess around.

-Like you?

-...

-I understand. You may not say...

-You miss them...?

-Whose?

-Your family...

-...

-I know what it's like to lose someone...

-Really?

-Yes... I lost my father when I was 6 years old - my eyes filled with tears - but when I lost him, I realized that it was meant to be. Do you understand?

-Aha... - I put my arm around Benedikt and closed my eyes

-"Don't be afraid," he kissed my forehead, "I'm always ready to listen to you... You can be yourself with me...

-Thank you... - I opened my eyes

-Want some ice cream...?

-Are you serious? - I gave him a disapproving look

-You?! Always serious! Wait for me here, I'll be back soon!

-'Good,' I smiled

It's strange that such a simple guy treats me like a princess... This is every little girl's dream. My little girl used to say:

"You know true friends, Dia, not by the size of your pocket, but by the love that lies here..."

"In the heart?"

"Yes..."

Such memories of Elza made me smile. Maybe daddy and mummy are still alive? And if not...? My heart is already broken... Benedikt is the only one who is trying to put the pieces together, but will he succeed? It is possible that after he has healed my grief, he will break it again, as Eliot once did... Or will it not? Benedict interrupted my sad thoughts:

-Please! Just make sure it doesn't melt! - smiled

-Thank you... - I giggled

-What's so funny, Miledi?

-Ha, ha, ha!!!!

-Please tell me! Did I get my jacket dirty?

-No!

-Has the moustache grown?!

-... - I shook my head

-What's wrong with that? - he wondered

-April has dawned! He, he, he, he!!!

-What?! April?!! Oh, no! My beautiful jacket is ruined!

-Don't worry! Give it to me. There's a laundry nearby!

-Here, take it! How lucky I am! - ran a hand through his thick black hair - You saved my life!

-Go, already!

-I'm serious! Tomorrow is an important meeting, and this jacket is my mascot, without it I wouldn't be able to attend cases.

-Are you a lawyer?

-Yes! I defend justice!

-Very interesting! Do you often encounter corruption...?

-I'm sorry to say, but yes... Nowadays, people think that money can buy everything, even love!

-...

-"Leave me alone, Miss Jones. I didn't mean to offend you.

-It's all right... My love wasn't happy anyway...

-Would you like to share?

-OK... It's no longer a secret. Eliot came into my life when I was 9 years old. We were together for 10 years. At 14 we started dating, and at 19... He... He left me... My parents moved to Spain. Since then, I haven't seen him... I tried to date other guys my own age, but I never felt as happy as I did with Eliot...

-You miss him, right?

-I don't hate him, but I miss him anyway, every day... And you? Have you experienced unhappy love? - I asked

-No, my mother didn't let me date because she didn't want a woman to push me in the wrong direction, you know?

-I understand...

-Look, the moon has risen over the Parisian horizon... - pointed to the sky

-"Oh, really...", I smiled

-I'll bring you home

-Again...? Are you sure of that, Benedict? Would you rather be with a better, prettier, more educated lady than me...? - I said hesitantly, biting my lip

Shhh... put his finger on my lips, "Do you hear?

-What? - I asked, my eyes full of surprise

-The sound of the wind, the trickling of a stream, the night songs of birds... Try to close your eyes and feel it.

-... - I closed my tired eyes, but I didn't feel the things he told me to feel, I felt his closeness and his warmth... It was very reassuring... I felt I was the only one in a world where the person who loved me would sacrifice everything if necessary. I... I felt love... Love for him! I couldn't believe I was thinking like that, but maybe it was true. Should Benedict be told? NO! Don't make up such nonsense! He doesn't love you... It's just a means to get your attention... The man you love is just playing with your feelings, like Eliot once did. Yes, Eliot...

-I see you're attracted to the sensations of the night, Miledi...? - smiled

"I... opened my eyes, as if from a deep dream," I felt it. Thank you for loving me.

-What did you say?

-No, no. Forget it, it doesn't matter

-Maybe let's go before it gets dark...? - he smiled

-'Yes, yes... Come on,' I took his icy hand, 'aren't you cold?

-Not really, your brave eyes warm my heart, and when my heart is good, I don't care about anything else in the world..

-Give me your hands! - I quickly motioned

-"Okay..." he laughed