Stars & Constellations: A Transformers Fan Fiction

Chapter 28.5

10/13/2023

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The com fizzled out. I sighed out of sadness, my sparkmate was far away, away from me. Away from the war that haunted us for long before I stepped into it. Ratchet sighed.

"Optimus always had this... feeling about her. He always said she reminded him of Aureum..." He spoke softly, I nodded slowly. "She occasionally has these dreams... Since I always stay up, to make sure her night terrors don't bother her too much. She sometimes have these dreams of a golden and blue cyberwolf, but instead of dreaming about it, the dreams were all through the cyberwolf's optics." I said, with a stoic tone. "She would always wake from recharge, and never remember those dreams." I said with mild confusion. It always bothered me, because she never remembered those dreams,

But those dreams were like she lived a whole other life.

Ratchet sighed again, quiet, as he was deep in thought. "Do you think... that she is Aureum?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chassis, ignoring the pain from the freshly welded metal. "She could be. It just doesn't explain how Aureum's spark came to be in a human body." Ratchet said slowly, oddly quiet.

"Are you alright?" I asked, he quickly gave me a good glare, before falling back to his previous quietness.
I huffed. Some days... It was hard to ignore the longing ache that tugged at my spark. I missed her...
I wondered sometimes... How she could appear so strong, so prideful, so defiant... When she was always tiptoeing on the edge of borderline suicidal. I always watched the running thoughts in her helm, she never stops thinking, and when she does... It's a relief. She always try to keep herself distracted, and happy.

But, she can't ever escape the trauma she went through. I must have watched her dream about us losing the war, or about my death, over a dozen times by now. Every night, I always stay up, to gently calm her ever-racing mind, and when it finally does calm down, I only recharge the moment I know she's fine.

Even then, she sometimes has night terrors, while i'm recharging, and occasionally, I'd wake to a sharp punch or kick in the side. But at this point... I was used to running on little to no recharge. Like she was. My wonder never ceases to exist. I love her more than anything in the universe. And it hurts when she's drifting farther away from me.

Ratchet had walked back to his med bay, as I kept standing, thinking about her. Soon my thoughts trailed to our sparklings.

They were all adorable, and while I was happy... I wasn't. I couldn't... lose them, or Y/D. And... I couldn't teach them to become soldiers... I sighed. But, I was happy nonetheless. I just worried about whether or not the war would end soon, I hoped so, because I couldn't allow my sparklings to go through the same trauma as their parental unit.

I wouldn't let anything happen to them, not while I'm still online. "Smokescreen, Sir." A bot behind said, in the doorway. I jumped, frame rattling, before relaxing quickly. "Yes, Nightlight?" I spoke half-stoically, walking forward to the shorter mech. "We're ready for the attack." He said quickly, and nervously.

I narrowed my gaze, and nodded. While my processor raced with the thoughts; 'Will I come out online? Will I see my family again?' and various other thoughts. I walked next to him, as we headed outside, to where roughly a few hundred autobots stood in relaxed positions.

"Smokescreen, Sir!" They all stiffened, and saluted, and waited for a motivational speech, in which I struggled to provide. I wasn't Optimus... I wasn't a good enough leader for the autobots... And Ultra Magnus had finally handed leadership to me, and stepped aside as first lieutenant. He said I was ready. But I didn't feel ready.

I vented swiftly, stiffening my posture, and relaxing my servos behind my back.

"Autobots, today we stand on the edge of... winning and losing. I believe each and one of you, will prove yourselves as honorable autobots, and will lead us to victory. Today, we will strike the spark of the decepticons, and take them down, once and for all!" I said confidently, raising my fisted servo, as some roared with anticipation, and others kept silent. And passed worried glances to each other.

I knew that even if we take as many as we can out, and conquer their main base... The war could go on for thousands of vorns. But for now, we strike, and we will have to take it as a win. Our earlier raid had us retreat, but not for losing reasons, but a tactical retreat. We had hid away in a nearby place, where our signatures were hidden by the medical shield.

And thus, started the beginning of the end.