La Santa Muerte

A better me

giovani: you wouldve wanted to have more?

maricela: i dont know i wouldve liked to have that option

giovani: but there is options? we adopted maya we can always open our doors for another? kid or baby that needs a home?

maricela: i know but huh

giovani: you have to get yourself out of the mindset and think of your health you need to make it to 100 you need to get old and watch the kids get older shit .. i wanna grow old with you? and if this surgery doesnt happen it can turn into cancer then what?

maricela: you dont wanna grow old with me

giovani: why wouldnt i? shit i rather die first than to see you go .. the kids shouldnt bury there mother not this young javi just said mama the other day? think about what you'll miss if you dont do this

maricela: ok what did they tell you that has you thinking im just gonna die?

giovani: you where there the doctor told if this isnt done it can turn into something worse .. you heard him say its not safe and that you cant have another

she looked down

maricela: its all my mothers fault her and her crappy genetics

giovani: not to crappy because your not her but why not get rid of what she passed on to you?

maricela: what if i passed it on to vivi? fuck i didnt think about that

giovani: shes 7 turning 8 shes still small and we can take her ot the doctor and you can talk to her about these things to you know be a mom?

maricela: yea your right i hate you

giovani: i love you to haha

she went in later that week to get the surgery she needed to get..

emiliano: do you think this will be what she needs

giovani: what are you talking about?

emilian: like having this surgery will end the pain shes in for good?

giovani: yea if she takes care of herself and i know she will

emiliano: i hope so

giovani: what you desperate to head back to Mexico or what?

Emiliano: no you idiot im just tired of seeing her down seeing her depressed ya know and sick

giovani:so you hope this takes it all away

Emiliano: yea i can hope she deserves anything but peace and happiness after everything shes worked so hard for ya know

giovani: yea

some hours went by..

viviana: i wanna see mami?

giovani: i know baby but shes recoverying right now we just have to wait a bit longer thats all

maya: we talked about this remember?

giovani: talked about what?

maya: she kept asking marta what was happening why mom was in the hospital and things like that and we told her she had to get a surgery for her health and what did we tell you?

Viviana: its very important for her to get it that it will help her feel better so she can stay home more and play with us and i know but i wanna see her?

giovani: and you are going to see her soon they wanna check over her its all going to be ok dont worry but thank you maya

maya: she would've wanted me to explain it no secrets ya know

he nodded as they the doctors took them up to her room

Maricela: my baby you stayed up?

giovani put her down and she ran to her bedside

Viviana: i couldn't sleep without seeing you javis with nana but are you ok?

Maricela smiled at her and caressed her face

Maricela; i am my love just in some pain thats all i can go home in a couple days

Viviana: really? im gonna tell nana to cook all your favorites and daddy we have to buy her everything the doctors says to get thats what nana told me to tell you

Maricela: sit her right here babe please

giovani did Maricela hugged her tight

vivana: are you ok?

Maricela: with you here ofcourse i am my angel..

Maricela healed up and was able to go home a couple days later ..

emiliano: shouldnt you be in bed resting?

maricela: i felt like i was fading away just in bed so i got up and made the girls breakfast and lunch and sent them off to school and im making javi something to you hungry?

emiliano: no im good thank you but you need to take it slow dont just start doing everything mari come on?

she sat down he sat down across from her as she drank some coffee

maricela: im not lying to you i feel better i can walk around im being light dont worry martas with javi upstairs gios working im just doing the light thingsyou know? but you should know i feel ten times better there's no pain and they have me on meds to that been hepling

emiliano: did they give you the good shit?

Maricela: oo yea all the percs and shit haha naw just over the counter Tylenol i can handle the pain but they medicated me

Emiliano: what do you mean?

Maricela: i talked to a nurse about the hormones that i would have to take after the fact and how i had my problems and so did my mother ya know and they got me on stabilzers and meds and i have therapy over the phone also

Emiliano: a boss with a therapist? your Muerte? you

Maricela: that will never change i am medicated i haven't felt like i need to kill to feel good or better which is good but i know what i have to do its work to me but the meds have helped me be happier less doom like ya know?

Emiliano: wow im proud of you iam

Maricela: thank you i did it for the kids they deserve the best version of me

he nodded and got up and hugged her tight ...