La Santa Muerte

heal and come back

maricela: have you seen alonso? what happened? it all was so fast i wasn't fucking prepared its like i knew this was coming iknew something was wrong but he reasured me so i went with it but i knew gio i knew!

giovani: you have to calm down ok you just gave birth babe you have him fuck your alive you both are when i got that fucking text i panicked i did .. he's gone but i have you guys at least i have that .. yea you have a good gut but he knew it was better for you not to stress but trust me no one would;dve seen this happen alonso said it was your dads right hand man probably a partner? that's who you shot he didn't even see this shit coming

she laid her back crying

maricela: i told him .. i told him to destroy everything

giovani: yea but there's nothing that can be done now ok you need to heal make sure hes ok i need to get us out of the house and moved quickly to be safer files were tooken but we can never be to sure ill deal with everything ..

maricela: wait for us to come home to plan his funeral he deserves to go home and be buried where we always talked about he told me what he wanted done to let me help you with this

he nodded and caressed her face

giovani: for now heal babe we have our miracle? what we always asked for?

she nodded and looked down at her baby boy .. she felt no connection

maricela: can you bring me the bags and bring jocelyn and vivi?

giovani: are you sure?

maricela: i don't want you to go but i need them close to i think im in shock this doesn't feel real

he nodded and kissed her heead

giovani: it'll be ok babe just look at him hes perfect?

maricela: he is ..

they kissed and he left the nurses came back and looked over her baby boy she sat back emotionless she felt numb she felt nothing ..

nurse: do you wanna try and latch?

she shook her head

maricela: ill pump then bottle

nurse: but its a way for you to connect with your newborn? are you sure you don't wanna try?

she sighed

maricela: ill try i guess

she took her baby boy .. she tried her best to latch until she did

nurse: are you ok?

she looked at her coldly ..

maricela:i woke up this morning and kissed my daughters head as she ran outside to play with her auntie in the backyard ate breakfast with my fiance and then left to one of my last check ups my father n law more of a father figure actually went with me on this one he wanted to see his grandson in the ultrasound for the first time ..

she took a deep breath

maricela: the doctor was gunned down we were set up in a way the nurse helping that doctor helped me hide as my father n law fought off who was trying to kill me .. he was killed in the fight i walked out to him holding his bleeding stomach i hugged him as he died in my arms ..

she looked at the nurse as she sat back stunned

maricela: do you know who i am?

nurse: um .. um

maricela: i am la santa muerte these people came to kill me and killed someone that meant so much to me .. then i brought this beautiful lil baby boy into the world the grandson he was so excited to meet .. i look at this lil boy and i feel like i should feel more excitement i should feel more but i don't .. im just here numb

the nurse took her hand

nurse; i know who you are your by ear and by the security activity outside .. i didn't think you where real but im .. sorry? this is such a special moment in your life and im sorry it had to happen like this? but from my medical experience, you are in shock that was a traumatizing event that pushed you to go into labor you gave birth with no medication you seem like nothing happened either so your body

maricela: I've endured worse pain this wasnt my first birth its my first in a hospital .. but i understand what your saying will i be ok?

nurse: your a monster a killer but your a mother and a mothers loves is different i cant tell you if you will be ok but i think you'll come to .. but im glad your alive and so is he you both deserved to live you where given another chance by god maybe itll help you change

she shook head

maricela: haha never mostly after this

the nurse nodded and got up and walked out she sat back and held her baby boy feeling emotionless she just caressed his face and watched him ..

time went by .. viviana ran in

viviana: mami!!

maricela: hey baby? wheres papi

he walked in after her holding the bag

giovani: the moment she heard brother was here she made a run for it

she smiled at her babygirl as she ran up and tried to get on the bed

maricela: here mamas sit down right here hes asleep we have to be gentle ok?

she nodded and hugged her ..

maricela:wheres jocelyn?

giovani: shes messed up heartbroken by all this she didn't wanna come cause you more pain she said she'll see you when we get back to the house well new house i made some moves

maricela: why is she messed up? she didn't see anything happen? i don't get it?

giovani: shes blaming herself ok she knows who killed my dad his name everything

she went quiet ..

giovani: its not her fault look lets talk about it later look in front of you look at them babe? look at vivi?

she looked at her babies .. she side smiled at them as her babygirl caressed his face and giggled at his lil expressions