La Santa Muerte

No your not

maricela: What are you talking about?

giovani: you leave something at his place and you have something of his here

maricela: dumb haha i just didnt wanna bring visible blood in that's all I'm gonna return the shirt

he nodded

giovani: right haha

maricela: why do you care if i do have something of his here? i thought you where ok with it?

giovani: i never said i was ok with it I'm just living with it because i cant do anything else

she nodded

maricela: that is true you cant .. I'm gonna go shower

she went to walk away

giovani: he didnt lend you shoes?

she looked down and rolled her eyes

maricela: i knew about the blood on them I'm pissed i cant clean them  i just got these to shit your moms blood is so stubborn like the bitch she was shit

she went upstairs leaving him sitting there .. she showered and changed and went back down to eat

viviana: mami!

she picked her up as she ran to her

maricela: hey baby you have a good nap?

she nodded and hugged her

viviana: i have ideas for my room then we have to go school shopping to when do i start? is it close? is it big?

maricela: i have pictures i can show you if you wanna see but i hope you can start by next week we just have to be moved into the new house baby

viviana: ok i have ideas for my room i drew them

maricela: go get them so we can plan them ok?

she nodded as she put her down and ran off

giovani: this should be fun but a heads up

maricela: what?

giovani: she said she wants to stay with me more but i told her it'll be half and half for the most part

maricela: i wouldn't argue or force her to stay where she doesn't want to that's why im glad we'll have both houses together

giovani:that's true so tonight hows work going?

maricela: its only a meeting and probably a check up on those idiots from south side .. but i might have to travel to the border soon and sit down with emiliano we been talking he says its been calm but the level of police is going up

he nodded

giovani: do you want me to go?

maricela: i want you to but then i don't know if i do

giovani: what smokey will get jealous? haha

maricela: no I'm trying to move on from heart break and having you around and seeing you and then going threw all this is messing with me .. i shouldn't miss you the way i do and want to comfort you while i cried myself to sleep those night .. I'm trying to move on

he stood there frozen as viviana ran back into the room

maricela: I'm going alone maybe smokey will go but its best if one of us stays behind for there safety

giovani: yea don't worry just tell me when .. but princess tell mami everything you want to do ok then we'll plan your room at my house ok?

she nodded as he walked out she could see the hurt in his eyes

she spent the afternoon with her kids

viviana: mami i told daddy i want to stay at his house

maricela: how ever you wanna do it babygirl the houses will be connected you can go back and fourth how you want

viviana: what if i want you to stay with me and daddy?

she looked up at maricela

maricela: babygirl

viviana: you dont love daddy no more?

she looked at her confused and sat down next to her and hugged her

maricela: yes i love him oo so much but sometimes things dont work out and we have to go our own ways but we're together for you and your brother babygirl you can stay with daddy you can stay with me too its all up to you

viviana: but i want you together?

she nodded and hugged her

maricela: i wish we could to babygirl I'm sorry ..

as the night went by and she got ready ..

maricela: you drinking?

giovani: yea had to numb some shit up

maricela: martas here if anything but um can we talk?

he nodded as he followed her into her closest

giovani: why in here?

maricela: vivi wont find us in here she hates it .. but she keeps asking why we cant be together and live together and i keep explaining has she asked you?

giovani: yea

maricela; what have you told her?

giovani: to ask you its all you

she stepped back

giovani: it is mari we could live together shit we can still be together if you want but

maricela: dont come at me with that fucking bullshit you tried to fuck my sister! you had her on the fucking low!! while i fucking morned the death of your dad and i was in post partumn to! i was recovering from giving birth being a new mom finally and you just wanna stay together like nothing happened? shes probably blaming me for this you know that? you fucking asshole .. you fucking did this to us i wanted to marry you i wanted the fucking world with you but you decided to do what you did..

giovani: i know what i did and i apologized why cant you move on?

maricela: because everytime i fucking look into your eyes i see her yelling at me telling me the shit she did .. how i have it all but she still took you from me .. she still won you over after all the shit we went threw she still got you to open up to her to be nice to her to want her .. that she fucking won yea shes dead but she still fucking won and i have to live with that pain every fucking day .. everytime i see you smiling at javi laughing and i just wanna hug you and kiss it hits me and it breaks me all over again

he stepped back and sat down

maricela: it kills me and you know what i been threw you helped me heal from so much bullshit held my hand threw so much loss .. i thought you where my forever and you fucking broke me again and you want me to move on from it like nothing? are you serious? .. its not all up to me when you did this you caused me to want to get away from you

giovani looked at her as tears fell from her eyes

maricela: i loved you .. and i still do and ill always love you because our lil boy is half you and im grateful that you took on the roll to be her daddy because your so good at it i could've never done with out you .. but you broke me as hard as i want to move on i cant mostly this shit being public? its on the streets? im a fucking joke now thanks

giovani: your not a joke .. im a joke for breaking the one good thing i had in my life ill never be able to fix this

maricela: sadly no.. what would i look like if we got back together? im already a joker

giovani: your not a fucking joke maricela don't talk like that!