The God's Awakening

Chapter 6

Loki wasn't sure if what was happening was real or not, then again since he had found out his true heritage his mind had not truly been whole. The trip to Jotunheim had been a horrible decision on his brothers part yet he knew Thor's friends blamed him for putting the thought in his brothers mind. He had only wanted to tell his brother that he sympathised. He had tried to talk the oaf out of it! Then Heimdall had hinted he thought it had been Loki who had snuck the Jotuns into the Palace! Yes he did not think that Thor was ready for the Throne but he had already tried to talk to the Allfather about it and the Allfather had dismissed his concerns.

Things had escalated quickly from there. The discovery of his being a Jotun! A Jotun! A Frost Giant! They were the monsters used to frighten the Asgardian children. He didn't want to be a monster. Who was he now? Was he Loki Son of Odin? Was he truly a monster? Thor's banishment.  Arguing with his Fath.... No! With Odin. The anger and grief he felt, the betrayal. How ironic it was that the God of Lies was the one living a lie and not even knowing it. Odin falling to the Odinsleep so suddenly. With Thor being banished and his mother refusing to leave Odins side the Throne had fallen to him. It had been too much at once. Overwhelmed he had secluded himself in an attempt to piece himself back together.

Fragile as his mindset was he had needed his mother's council only to find her injured and Laufey, his true father, crouched over Odin ready to make the final blow. Reacting on instinct Loki had killed Laufey, feeling his mind fracture more. The Jotuns had to pay for this transgression, the monsters had to be destroyed.

The Bifrost, locked on to Jotunheim, destroying the frozen world as he felt his world had been destroyed. Thor was suddenly there, trying to stop him, fighting him. They had been shouting at each other, Loki's long pent up anguish and distress finally being released whilst his broth....no, Thor was shouting, accusing him of sending the Destroyer to kill him. Thor destroying the rainbow Bridge, sending the Himinbjorg tumbling into the abyss, the explosion sending both men over the edge. Odins face joining Thors above him, sadness filling his soul as he heard the words from Odin.

"No Loki".

Then falling. The many beautiful galaxies he past until gut wrenching pain then darkness. When the darkness receeded all that followed was such pain he had never experienced before. It was physical but also mental. Memories were being roughly taken apart and changed, others enhanced to make the pain and loneliness worse. Happy memories became twisted so that he was not convinced they were nothing but dreams. Just as his mind was being torn asunder, as was his body. The pain excruciating as limbs were twisted and broken, skin burned and cut, injuries allowed to heal just enough for the pain to begin again. Food scarce but when given, the chances of it being poisoned were as even as it not being. Both physical and mental tortures were constant and he had no knowing of how long it lasted. When it finally subsided knowledge was given but it was not a gentle process. The knowledge was forced upon him with no understanding given.

Throughout all the torture was Him, standing, watching, relishing in Loki's pain. He wanted Loki to call Him Father, to become one of His children. He had a test, a task for Loki to perform, if he succeeded he would become one of the Black Order, a Child of Thanos.

What He did not know was that Loki had locked away a small part of his Self, hidden it deep within and tried to keep it safe. When He had used the Scepter on Loki to complete his control it had taken the last of his strength to hold tightly to that small part in hopes of surviving. Once the Scepter had been used a rage manifested quickly and once given the Scepter the Rage had been a constant. He had tried to fight the control and managed only a few times but they were short lived.

He had hoped with all he had that Thor would have noticed the changes, helped to save him but the oaf had not seen. To Loki's dismay it seemed as though Thor had turned his back on him, deciding that he was a monster just as the others believed. It wasn't until the great green Brute had slammed him repeatedly to the hard ground in the Stark tower that some of the control had been broken, though the memories were still twisted and broken. He had contemplated escaping after the green Brute had left but his mind and body were in no condition to go anywhere.

Once in his cell on Asgard, with minimal access to his Seidhr he had tried to piece himself back together, using his Seidhr to mask his broken and battered self. Delving into his mind he searched through his memories, looking for the broken and altered edges. The God of Mischief knew that this was not a task he should perform on his own but he did not trust others to help. He knew they all thought him a traitor and a monster. They would not believe the God of Lies if he told them the truth.

On occasion he felt himself slip into the madness that consumed him under the control of the Scepter, though he felt it mattered little as he recieved no visitors. He was alone, forgotten. During these moments some of his progress would be undone. Broken edges became sharper, the anger and rage overwhelming. Suddenly he had felt something release in his mind. It was as though a line had been cut, a line connecting Loki to Him. The anger and rage were gone, the madness cleared. Loki's mind was once again his and his alone. The dark shroud was gone.

As he tried to mend his mind the Allmother appeared in front of his cell asking for his help. Thor was in trouble and needed his help. Initially anger and disgust had come unbidden. They only came to the fallen Prince so he could save the golden one. Just as suddenly a memory came to him of a young green eyed, dark haired boy and a blue eyed, blonde haired boy playing together, having each others back, smiles adorning their young faces. Without hesitation he had agreed to help. He had been taken half aware out of his cell to Warriors he vaguely recognised but paid it no heed, the blonde boy needed his help. After the trip through the Bifrost he found himself looking into the cold, enraged blue eyes of the blonde man who Loki truly believed only saw him as a monster and knew that he would still help the one who was once his brother.

Seeing the uncontrolled rage within those eyes he automatically gathered all the Seidhr he could from within himself and sent it to calm and soothe the rage as well as imobilise the Thunderer. Opening his mouth he began to sing softly but clearly.

Vyss lull lilla palt
So, ro, Lillemann
Nå er dagen over
Alle mus i alle land
Ligger nå og sover

So og ro og tipp på tå
Sov min vesle pode
Reven sover også nå
Med halen under hodet.

As he sang, infusing his Seidhr and energy into the words as well as soothing the rage the effect it had on Thor was almost instantaneous. Just as he had gone to rush at the newcomers he had been unable to move due to the imobilising spell but his body had soon begun to relax.

When Loki dropped that spell to focus on calming the rage Thor had not moved. As his body had relaxed his eyes had begun to clear.

The time spent over the last few years of torture and trying failingly to mend his mind with limited access to his Seidhr had taken a considerable toll on the God of Mischief and he knew he would not hold out much longer. Gathering the last of his Seidhr and energy he rather inelegantly pushed it into Thor, unaware that the small glamour he held over himself fell away. Through foggy eyes he saw recognition enter the blue eyes across from him.

"Loki?" He heard Thor asking in disbelief and confusion.
Giving a small crooked grin Loki could only whisper in response, "Oaf." before falling into darkness, crumpling to the ground.

Ooooooooooo

*Lullaby is called Klatremus' voggevisa. The image at the top of the chapter contains the Norwegian and English translation.*