Limits |Noah Sebastian/ Bad Omens|

25: Emotions.

Authors note: Thank you for all the love and support on this story, thank you for helping me get to the 15k milestone and thank you for loving this story and cheering me on for the next part. You truly have no idea how much I love seeing you guys happy every time I post.

The night settled in, as I waited for Noah to text back or even read the messages the anxiety of the thought of my messages sitting in the void would eat at me. Did he leave. . . If I was really pregnant, would he have left?
The cramps did settle in later that evening after I had managed a hot shower, Jamie offering to go get me some painkillers to relieve the intensity, but I told her no, I needed to feel something right now especially after spending most of my day in the fight-or-flight aspect.
Settling myself in my office on the small futon I had in there, I had my laptop set up on the edge of the desk as one of my shows played more as background noise than something I could focus on. Should I have called Noah? Should I have looked at him when we were in the kitchen, told my brother? But the sinking feeling crept in, the feeling my ex left me hollowed with—did he leave? Was my ex right, was I too much to handle would someone every truly love me for myself?

It was about two in the morning, the cramps keeping me up as I rocked myself back and forth groaning as the nausea would tumble along with it, I've had worse I would admit but the anxiety added to this never helped and especially since I never went this far past my cycle's usual date. Hearing my phone go off, I hated how fast I grabbed it only to see it was a text message from my boss that set the small device off and not a text message from Noah.
My lip trembled as I pressed them in a tight line, he really left?
Hearing a car pull up from the front, I couldn't help but watch the front door as the six-foot four figure appeared quietly through the front door, careful not to make too much noise for the sleeping roommates we shared this home with. I could see him stop when he saw me in the dark office, my laptop the only source of light in both rooms but I knew he had paled just by how his body froze.
Noah stepped into my office doorway, he wore black sweats and a crewneck sweater as he looked between the computer and myself. "You're still awake?" his voice soft as he looked down at his feet.

Gulping I nodded my head sheepishly. "You. . . You didn't text me back, you—you left" my voice hushed at the end trying to not get myself too worked up.

"Fae—I, I needed to think."

"Where did you go?" I hated the desperation that was laced in my voice, the genuine worry hidden beneath those words.

Scratching his neck, his eyes at last met mine. "I went to where we went on our first date" his own voice was quiet and soft.

"For the whole day?"

"For the whole day. . . I didn't know what to do, about the news" he gestured between us.

I couldn't deny him that—I needed to do something too. "The news is, I'm not pregnant" his face showed relief as he stepped further into my office, shutting the door a bit behind him as he looked down at me—tears lined my eyes as I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know if that is what you wanted to hear, but it is what I wanted to hear" I hated how emotional I felt, how I was laying my emotions bare in front of him.

Noah kneeling down in front of me, rubbed the inner part of my knee as he nodded his head, small smile on his face. "I also wanted that news. . . I spent the whole day thinking on what I would do if you were pregnant, and it scared me more then anything" he admitted before continuing. "I thought you were pregnant and when I couldn't even follow you downstairs it freaked me out, I was scared, and I knew you were too."

"I was scared for you, as well—I wouldn't" I paused, taking a shaky breath before continuing, "I wouldn't have kept it, if I was. . . I am not ready, and we just started something good together, part of me was scared of what you would have done if I was pregnant. It stirred up some memories I didn't want" tears slipped down my cheeks as Noah placed his thumb gently wiping them away.

"I'm sorry I scared you Faith" his brought my head down to his, his forehead resting on my own. "If you were pregnant, I thought what it would be like—but just like you I am not ready, the band just taking off, and us just starting" he was laying his own emotions out to me, his brown eyes gently held my gaze as his thumb still rubbed small circles on my knee. "I told myself though it was your choice, I just wanted to be there for you" he kissed my forehead wiping more tears away.

He was gentle with me as he looked around the dark office. "Have you rested at all? Are you okay?" he asked noting the hot water bottle that laid on the floor beside the futon.

Grabbing hold of it, I nodded my head—the emotions inside of me still feeling numb to this whole day. "I got my period a few hours ago" my voice felt hollow.

Noting that, Noah looked at me with a gentle expression. "Do you need anything; can I get you anything?"

My brown eyes, my tired eyes, the eyes that had seen too much for this lifetime looked at him. His presence brought me comfort which I hated that I loved it so much. "Will you come lie in bed with me for a little?" I asked shyly as if he would mock me for needing support in this time.

Not even with hesitation Noah brought me to my feet, gently guiding me down the stairs, noting every time I winced with the discomfort of moving with cramps. Gently helping me into bed, he made sure my phone was plugged in before leaving the room—maybe he didn't want to be with me after all.
But that wasn't the case, not as he returned moments later with a fresh hot water bottle as well as some water and what looked like snacks. "I thought you left. . ." I admitted tears still coming down my face as my body just wasn't processing everything fast enough.

Placing the snacks and water on my side of the bed, he crawled in on the side he usually laid on, pulling me into his embrace murmuring soothing words as he placed the hot water bottle on my stomach making sure it wasn't too hot for me. Lips pressing on my head, I listened to the steadiness of his heart. "I am never going to leave you Faith. . . Not when it is something we can work out, work together—I won't leave you when you need me most" he kissed my head once more. "Now, get some sleep. . . I'll still be here in the morning" he whispered into the quietness of the room.
He wasn't going to leave.
I wasn't alone.