You Saw Me

74

Before bed I had a shower and stood for a while looking at myself in the mirror. I turned with my side to the mirror checking to see, if I was showing. I had a natural bump, all women do, but what I was looking for was a sign that it was bigger than usual. I stuck my belly out a bit, imagining what I would look like. I was so focused on looking at it, that I didn't notice Henry standing in the door observing me with a big smile on his face. 

"You're beautiful", he said startling me a little. I repositioned myself so I was standing normally, running my hand over my belly, still not able to determine, if it looked different.

"I can't see if it looks different", I sought his eyes in the reflection. 

He came closer and admired my stomach with me. "I'm not sure, a little bit maybe. It might be a little bigger here", he ran his finger from my bellybutton and downwards. I followed his finger in the mirror, looking up at him in the reflection as his finger stopped just before he reached my intimate part. 

"Why did you stop?" I asked him. "You can have sex when you're pregnant, you know?" I said, turning around to face him. 

"I'm just worried, love", he said, looking down. 

I understood what he meant, but I also feared that it meant he didn't find me attractive anymore. That I didn't turn him on, because I was having his child. The thought made me sad. Henry pulled me closer. "What's wrong, Ellie?" 

"I'm worried that you won't touch me anymore. That you don't get turned on by me", I was too shy to look at him. 

He huffed and lifted my chin, so I looked into his eyes. "Are you kidding me? You have never been sexier. Everything in me screams to just take you here and now. But I want to know that it's safe first." His eyes were soft and warm, as he bent down and kissed me. 

I nodded, knowing that he was right. "We can talk to the obstetrician, if you want?" I suggested. 

"I think that's a great idea", he agreed and kissed me again, a little longer and a little deeper, making me feel the desire he had for me. He pulled me close and I definitely felt his desire, as his erection brushed my leg. 

***

Glenne and I went shopping for a wedding dress. I had looked at what felt like a million dresses online, but I still hadn't quite narrowed it down. I knew I wanted something that wasn't too big, I wanted it to be lace and flowy. We went to a store that sold vintage dresses, looking for a vintage, lace dress. There were so many beautiful ones. I had a feeling it was going to be very difficult for me to pick one of the many. I looked through rack after rack and then suddenly, it was right in front of me. 

It was an ivory lace dress, aline with an open back. I went into the dressing room with a lady from the shop, who helped me into the dress and passed me a tissue when I saw myself in the mirror. It was the perfect dress for me. It hugged my curves just right, the open back made it sexy, but the lace kept it classy. I stood a little while, admiring it in the mirror. Turned to look at it from all angles. I turned sideways and put my hand on my belly. The lady from the shop noticed and smiled knowingly. 

"It's beautiful on you", she complimented me. "Should we go show your friend?" I nodded and let her help me out to show Glenne.

Glenne gasped when she saw me. She held her hands to her cheeks and mouthed "oh my god". I blushed a little, turning around so she could see it from all angles.

"It's perfect on you, Ellie!" She exclaimed and clapped her hands. "Do you want me to get Gayle on FaceTime?" I nodded, my eyes big. I hadn't thought of that myself, she was so thoughtful. Glenne quickly called Gayle and told her to brace herself.

She turned the camera and I heard Gayle roar: "Oh my friggin' word that's beautiful, Elliepea! You are stunning! He's going to die when he sees you." Glenne was nodding along, agreeing with everything Gayle was saying.

I laughed and blew her a kiss. "Wish you were here!" I said, trying to sound cheerful, but inside I really did wish she was. Glenne was a wonderful friend, and I was grateful she was there with me, but some things you need your best friend for. I imagined it was the same way women felt, when they had a sister; that they wanted to share important things like this with them and valued their opinion. Gayle had been my maid-of-honor at my wedding with Adam as well, but that had been completely different, more traditional and I had let my mother have a bigger part in my choice of dress. I had loved my dress, but it was not like this one. It was plain and classic, where this one just made me feel so beautiful. 

"Do you feel beautiful?" Gayle said at the exact moment I thought it, like she had read my mind. 

"Very", I said, my voice cracking a little as my eyes became wet. Glenne sniffled, drying her eyes in a tissue and handed me one as well. 

"You are stunning, Ellie", Glenne said and wiped her eyes. "He is seriously going to melt when he sees you". 

I smiled at her, hoping she was right. I really wanted him to be as proud and happy to marry me, as I was to marry him. 

Gayle was bawling on FaceTime and praising my choice, suggesting shoes and hair choices. "Hey what about us, what are we going to wear?" She interrupted her own stream of thoughts. 

I hadn't given that any thought, I'd completely forgotten after asking Gayle to be maid-of honor. I turned to Glenne. "I forgot to ask you - will you be my bridesmaid?" 

"Of course I will", Glenne hugged me and agreed with Gayle that they needed to look exceptional. 

"I think I'm going to have to come out there again", Gayle chuckled. "Should I bring Ana and Sarah?"