You Saw Me

67

When we arrived at Jeff and Glenne's house on saturday evening, there was a weird silence around their house. Henry rang the doorbell, but no one opened. 

"That's odd", Henry said, getting his phone out of his pocket to call Jeff. As soon as the phone started ringing, we heard Jeff's ringtone from the house. Henry grabbed the door handle and the door opened. The lights were switched on and a group of people jumped out and yelled "SURPRISE!" All of our friends were there, glasses raised in front of a banner that said "Happy Engagement". We looked around the room with shock at seeing all our friends together, happy faces everywhere. I spotted Gayle, Ana and Sarah and immediately ran to them to embrace them. "I can't believe you came all this way", I sobbed into a group hug. 

"Are you kidding me? As if we'd miss out on this", Ana said.

Jeff and Glenne bid everyone welcome. "Thanks for coming everyone", Jeff started. "Ellie and H, we are so incredibly happy for the two of you. It's rare to live a real life rom-com, where a holiday fling is for life. Well done, H. The night we met this beautiful woman at a karaoke bar in Anguilla, you told me that you needed to know who she was. That immediate connection was right, hold on tight my friend. And Ellie, welcome to our family. We're nuts about you", Jeff raised his glass and everyone drank to our engagement. 

They had arranged a lovely dinner. They had set the dinner up out on their patio, where a beautiful table was arranged in a boho chic style with a white tablecloth and lots of fresh flowers. There were fairylights all over the patio, setting a lovely and intimate mood. Henry and I were both in absolute awe that they had arranged this for us. We both thanked them several times and were genuinely touched by the gesture. 

I sat next to Henry at dinner, but to my other side I had Gayle, Ana and Sarah. We were joking and having fun, just like we always did when we were together. James and Julia were sitting at our end of the table and it was so much fun. Gayle and James were a perfect match for comedic entertainment, they both joked and made the rest of us laugh. 

"You're not eating, love", Henry whispered in my ear, looking at my plate of food, I had hardly touched. 

"I'm sorry, I'm not really hungry", I whispered back, making sure to smile at him, so he knew I was alright. He looked worried as he pulled me closer and kissed my temple. There was a lot going on around us, and my body reacted by making me feel nauseous. Henry left the table and fetched me a glass of cold water, that usually made me feel better. That and being close to him. 

Gayle noticed my lack of eating as well. She leaned closer to me and whispered: "Are you okay, hon?" I nodded and toasted her with my water. She smiled, but I could read her like an open book; she was worried too. I had history with anxiety, and the telling sign that I was struggling, was that I stopped eating. Not voluntarily, but simply because my body said no to food. 

Gayle and Henry exchanged looks. I squeezed both their hands and ate some fruit to calm them. Jeff had put music on and Ana decided it was time to dance. I needed the distraction, so I went out on the grass and danced with Ana and Sarah. I could see Henry and Gayle talking, and he was pinky-promising her something. I was pretty sure he was promising to take care of me. And he would, that much I was sure of. He got up from his chair and talked to Jeff for a while. Then he came over to me and asked for the next dance, chuckling at me when I said, I'd think about it. Jeff fidgeted around with the music, changing to a slow song. But it wasn't just any slow song; it was Henry's song - my song. 

"It's still the rough cut, but it seemed fitting to play it now", he said as he slow danced with me, holding my gaze. The lyrics flowed from the speakers, and even though I had heard them before, they still made my stomach flutter:

Of all the places you could be, you were there,

My heart, love, is yours to tear,

My eyes never left you, they never will,

If they do, will you be here still?

Can I call you mine, will you let me?

You look into my eyes and it's something new

I look into your eyes, I see only you

And of all the many things that you could see

You saw me, you saw me

Of all the hearts you could have found, you found mine

Say it love, I'll walk the line

Open book, show some more, hope you will stay

Don't be shy, tell me what to say

I can make you whole again, will you let me?

You look into my eyes and it's something new

I look into your eyes, I see only you

And of all the many things that you could see

You saw me, you saw me

The wolves, the clowns, the flashing lights

You saw me, you saw me

The money, the parties, the flattery

You saw me, you saw me

The clothes, the cars, the champagne

You saw me, you saw me

I can show you more, will you let me? 

You look into my eyes and it's something new

I look into your eyes, I see only you

And of all the many things that you could see

You saw me, you saw me

Henry was singing along, while we danced. I listened and tried my best not to cry, but I was sentimental and the song just got to me. I loved it so much, and it meant everything to me that he wrote it for me. 

"It's the first single from the album", he said as it finished. "There's a few things I want to add, but it's decided that this is the one we start out with. I get to tell people that I wrote it for my fiancé. Or that it wrote itself, more or less, after our first night together", he smiled shyly at me. 

"I love it, Henry", I said teary-eyed and overwhelmed with love for him. "And I love you". 

"I love you too, love. More than anything". He kissed me on the forehead and held me close, as the next song came on.