You Saw Me

27

Henry offered to drive me to the airport, so we didn't need to take two taxis again. Jeff had a Range Rover that easily fit the girls and their suitcases and that way Henry and I would have a chance to spend the last minutes together before I had to go. 

We had spent the night together in my condo, trying to savour our last hours together, before the uncertainty of when we would see each other again. Our bodies had been inseparable, like we were sticking together trying to become one. Henry's kisses had been deeper and more vulnerable. He insisted on kissing every inch of my body, to take all of me in. We had both cried and tried to be brave, but we agreed that there was no point in trying to hide what we felt. It felt like it was ending, no matter what plans we would make or when we would arrange to get back together. Our time together, like this, secluded from the world, was ending. Soon we would have to face reality, whether we wanted to or not. 

We hardly slept, afraid that we would lose the chance to touch and hold each other. I was sore from sex, but it was my heart that was aching. Henry kept assuring me that we would be alright and that he would come see me very soon. But he too was feeling the sadness of the moment. 

In the airport we kissed long and hard. He held my face in his hands and paused the kisses to look at me. "I just need to look at you for a moment", he whispered, his voice cracking. I tried to smile at him the best I could, but it took a strain on me putting on a brave face.

Our friends were kind enough to give us space and time to say goodbye. I caught sight of Gayle wiping a tear from her eye while talking to Jeff. I knew she was worried about me and what would happen now, but I had to remember to assure her that it would be alright. I would make sure to sit next to her on the plane. 

Sarah signalled to me that we had to go. I felt like everything inside me was screaming not to go, but I took a deep breath, dried my eyes with the back of my hand and kissed Henry one last time. I drew back from the kiss and put my hand on his cheek, just taking in those beautiful, green eyes. "See you soon", I said in a small voice that was definitely giving away my sadness. 

"I love you, Ellie", he replied and kissed me on the top of my head while hugging me tightly. 

"I love you too", I said into his chest doing my best to restrain the sob I felt trying to escape me. 

Then I turned around, grabbed Sarah's hand and off we went. I turned to blow him a kiss and wave at him one last time, before we had to go through security. His eyes were gleaming with tears as Jeff put his arm around him and they waved us off. 

*** 
On board the plane I sat next to Gayle. She took my hand as soon as we sat down and I immediately started sobbing. She just sat there, holding my hand comforting me. She had been my rock through so much, it almost felt unkind asking her to carry this through with me. As the plane taxied down the runway and took off, tears streamed down my face. I was going to miss him so much, but it wasn't just Henry. It was also the place, the experiences, the sun, the beach and the memories. I wanted to hold on to it forever!

"There, there...", Gayle comforted me and signaled to the stewardess that she would like to order something. "Let's have a nice, calming drink and talk this through, hon". She ordered me a vodka and lemon soda, and got herself a gin and tonic. I sipped my drink, letting the taste and alcohol calm my nerves a bit. I took a deep breath and felt a little lighter. 

"This isn't just about Henry, Gayle. I feel like I came alive on this trip."

Gayle smiled at me and nodded. "I know, El. It's been obvious that you opened up and found some peace with yourself. It's been a joy to witness", she said with a tinge of a crack in her voice.

I squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "Thank you so, so much for doing this for me. You are the best friend one could ever hope for". 

"Ah it's nothing, next time we jet off to the Maldives", she chuckled and nudged me on the shoulder. 

"I'm going to be alright, Gayle. Don't worry about me, okay?" I reminded her. 

"I know", Gayle said. "And if not, I'll still be there".

***

My town house looked like it did before I left. Except for the front door. Someone had tagged it with graffiti. There were the words "Thank you, next!" and "Fame fucker" written in big, bold, red letters. My mailbox was filled to the brim with notes and letters, mostly addressed to me, but also to whore, fame fucker and golddigger. 

I stood on the pavement in front of my house for a while, letters in hand, staring at it wondering if there would be anymore surprises. Gayle got out of the car and stood next to me. 

"That's interesting", she said dryly. 

"Mmmm", I replied. 

"Should we call someone?" She had her phone ready to make a call. 

"Who?" I shrugged. 

"Maybe the police?", Gayle suggested. 

"Mmmm", I hummed again. 

Gayle made the call and we were instructed to wait outside and not enter before a patrole came along. 

I took a picture of the door and I wanted to send it to Henry, but I decided not to. I didn't want to worry him. In stead I sent him a message. 

My phone beeped almost instantly with his reply.