Chapter 16

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I lost her

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I lost her.

I kissed her and told her how much I cared about her and then lost her.

Because of something so stupid that happened when I was twelve.

When I found out that I had created an alliance with the mafia that Julieta belonged to my first thought was to tell her. But then I thought about it and my thoughts spiraled.

What if she didn't remember me?

What if she wanted nothing to do with me?

She was one year from entering the mafia and I barely saw her under that year. But when I did I always wanted to tell her.

But I couldn't.

I was so afraid that she would be mad or that she would laugh because why did I still care about the eight year old little girl I met at a mafia party almost 15 years ago.

It seemed silly to tell her, so I didn't.

But then she found out and got so mad.

My heart broke at hearing her scream at me.

But she was right.

I could've told her and I didn't because I was selfish.

When I saw her red and teary eyes as she walked in the kitchen I wanted to do nothing more than to hug her, kiss her and tell her that I will kill whoever hurt her.

But I hurt her.

I didn't mean to but I did.

And when she walked away from me crying I couldn't follow her. She deserved better than me.

But I'm selfish and I don't deserve her but I need her.

I will do anything to get her back.

So as I was standing outside her door with flowers and chocolate I was hoping and praying that this would be all it took for her to accept my apology.

But it wasn't.

Of course she opened the door and stared at me in silence until I said that they were for her. She then took them and slammed the door in my face.

I couldn't bear myself to be that person so I left.

But I wish I could be that person so I could've walked in and dried her tears.

The tears that I caused.

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