Still Stuck Out in the Same Old Storm ~ sokeefe story

Chapter 11

Keefe's P.O.V

I had to go to Havenfield eventually. I had to talk to people eventually. I had to talk to my girlfriend eventually.

There wasn't any point in putting it off any longer.

As I make my way out the door I'm stopped by my father. Just great. I could feel myself trembling if Ro was here this wouldn't be happening. I miss her like hell.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Out."

"Don't give me attitude."

Something inside me snaps. "You know what?! Why don't you just shut up and leave me alone. You don't care about me so why should you care where I go?"

"Really Keefe?! Y'know I thought that we were starting to make a tiny bit of progress with your behaviour and back chat but I guess not."

"Progress, you've gotta be kidding me. The only reason my "behaviour" has been getting "better" is because you've been hurting me since the final fight against the neverseen and I've been scared senseless of you. Well you know what, not anymore. Why don't we get to the root of the problem, huh? Did you start hitting me because I defeated mommy dearest and now she's locked in exile? Because it's tarnished your all important reputation? Because you still love her?"

He flinches at the last. I've got my answer.

He pushes me. "Don't test me Keefe."

"Y'know I could use my ability on you right now?"

"But you won't and I know why. It's the same reason you haven't used it on me these last couple months."

I stay silent.

"You love me. And you don't want to hurt someone you care about."
"It's quite sad really. Seen as I couldn't care less about you."

I punch him. Right in the nose.

He lets out an angry scream and starts running towards me.

And we fight. He pins me on the floor punching over and over until I flip it around punching and kicking him.

We fight for what feels like forever, back and forth nobody giving in.

Until I'm being pulled away from him.

Alden?

I look around. Everyone's here. Like everyone. All my friends all the parents, the council, Elwin, Mr.forkle.

My eyes meet Foster's. I can feel her worry.

I look back at my dad and he is being held back by Grady

"Are you ok?" Alden says softly. His eyes are filled with concern.

"Does any of this seem ok to you." I hate the way my voice cracks.

Before we can talk anymore I'm tackle hugged by Foster.

"You have no idea how scared this made me Keefe."

My eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say that, there's only one person here who's going to be sorry."

Foster let's go after a few seconds and I immediately want her to hold me like that again.

My dad then pushes Grady off him and comes storming over to me. I turn away. "Look at me Keefe," he says, I can feel his emotions and know immediately he's not one bit sorry.
"I want you out of my house by tomorrow."

I can't breath. Panic swamps me. Did he just say that?

"W...what?" I stutter out, not believing what I'm hearing.

"You heard me Keefe, we can't do this anymore, I don't want you anymore."

I start to shake and my eyes fill with tears. But I'm also angry. "I hate you." I say, it's all I'm able to say.

"Trust me the feeling is mutual." He replies with a bitter laugh.

My temper flares "You know what dad? Maybe it's better this way anyway because I hate that feeling when I just want to go home......but nowhere feels like home anymore."

He silent then. "I want you and all your stuff out by tonight, you knew this was coming."

And then he leaves closing the door behind him. And I feel empty.

I want to go after him, beg him to stay, to love me, to care but sometimes when people leave you for good you have to let them, no matter how much you don't want them to want them to leave. I can't control him and even if I had the strength to fight for our relationship, is it really worth fighting for? What would I be fighting for? He's right, I knew this was coming. He had my unconditional love, an unconditional love where he could hurt emotionally, physicaly and mentally again and again and I would never hurt him back. But today that was broken beyond repair. I can't live like this anymore. I won't ever hate him fully even if I pretend to, the only person he ever made me hate was myself.

But accepting it doesn't make this pain go away. Tears start streaming down my face without my permission.

Someone was holding my throat stopping my from breathing properly. But there was no one around me. My heart and mind seem to be racing. I dropped to my knees as the walls closed in.

Then someone was touching me, a girl. Foster. She tells me to breath.

I gasp for air. It's almost like I've been holding it in. As I take in a few more shaky breaths I can feel myself coming back to my senses a bit more. I focus again and I can feel everyone's eyes on me. They're worried, concerned but they're also pitying me and it's makes me want to stand up and just scream at all of them but I don't. I'm just so tired.

"Keefe?"

"Foster."

"Panic attack?"

"Yeah."

I meet her eyes. "How long Keefe?" She says softly, tenderly almost "how long have you been having panic attacks?" she asks while rubbing gentle circles on my back.

"Since I was ten." I winced as I felt her shock and worry, and I know I have a lot of explaining to do.

"Why didn't you tell me? I can help Keefe. I'm here Keefe, for whatever you need, ok?" I hate the hurt in her voice, I hate myself for hurting her.

"I just need you to stay with me. All I want is for you to stay.
No matter how hard it is to be around me."

"I'm yours Keefe, no refunds."

Word count:  words 1048