Wherever You Are ☯︎ YUNGBLUD

Twenty Three

Uhhhhh, hello, haven't updated in literally 3 years and it's fine if y'all hate me cause I understand, could've at least made a good 'last chapter' smh

Was gonna say I don't feel the same about Dom now as I did when I was 18-19, but looking through his posts on Instagram I realize I'm not sure that's true, and a wave of nostalgia has hit me

But I figured I'm back now at 22. And I want to write more. And Alaina and Dom deserve an ending, even better a continuation of the story.

No I'm not gonna be that bitch and do it in this one chapter

Carry on if you dare cause Lord have mercy this is gonna be a ride. PLS bare with me. Re read the last chapter as needed, fuck it restart both of the books. Who cares. Just spent the entire day, July 14th of 2023, reading these damned books. And my heart is tugging at me to continue and dive into them like my 18-19 year old self. If she can do it so can I

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JANUARY
SOPHOMORE YEAR

The Christmas break consisted of seeing one side of my family, I never did go see my birth mother, something I'm sure I will regret as there is no opportunity to see her until next break. I feel awful about it, but some part of me does not.

That part is looking back on those two weeks I had with my dad, my second mom, Johnny boy, and Dom. Dom of course. And when I tell you this time has given me more time than ever to truly recognize and consider my feelings, I know where I stand.

This man is the love of my life. The one I think about when I wake up, go to sleep, eat, drink, and I swear even during sleep.

Knowing that his tour is over but I still have the opportunity to talk to him and reach out about anything I can possibly think of, and that he will answer, sparks a part of me that nothing ever has.

He came crashing into my world like waves on rocks, slowly tearing them from their shell, releasing the inner beauty underneath, proving that after destruction comes creation. Like we talked about that night at his place. That night where we found ourselves colliding again. The night where I was sure there was no going back.

It takes everything in me to fight the nagging feeling from that night, the deep conversation we had after he played the piano for me, talking about what it truly means to create something so beautiful out of something so rugged and rough.

I could never tell if he was talking about himself being the destruction.

But God, I could not disagree more, and if I could rewind time and tell him that night, I would.

That's why, after all this time, these years that I would never trade for anything in the fucking world, I am still trying my hardest for him, and I know he's doing the same for me. I still have no idea what to call what we have going on, I know it's more than just a fling, both of us have confessed our love, and isn't that what really matters? Why put such a silly title on something that can't even be explained? That it feels like others can't even comprehend?

Because all I know, is that every time I think about him, it is like the first time I heard his voice. The first time I saw his face. The first time I felt his skin. Wrapped my fingers around the chain and pulled. Got pulled back, crashing harder and harder each time until we fit like a puzzle piece, a little rough and jagged around the edges but moving in sync with each other.

He brings some kind of peace and order to my life. The same person I can turn on my headphones to is the same person I can cry out for, relax with, and become something much more than sensual with.