I Still Miss You 💔. By A.ZChaudhry

Chapter 48

Goiz. I haven't read this chapter again for editing purposes, so just go along with it. Thank you!

OWEN

I shut my bedroom door, locking it thrice when I skidded to the ground, holding my chest and screamed loudly into my fist, letting every feeling within me out, hoping....... hoping so damn much that even in this muffled scream? Xos would have heard some of it to at least know the pain his little buddy was in, the pain he left me in and the suffering that I was going through by losing him.

I loved him. I loved him loved him and I fucking loved him to bits and pieces. Sometimes...... sometimes even more than AG because he was such a blessed soul for the both of us siblings. He was the brother I never had, he was the fatherly figure for me that I never had and he-he was my best friend. He was my bestie.

He would notice in an instant when I was faking happiness and would come to me, sit with me and talk to me for hours even if he was tired from work. He would always keep family first and then would look into work. He would take me out, go to long drives so that we could have a man-to-man talk about whatever problems I was facing.

And honestly? His advices would be so fucking great, man. So fucking helpful and awesome. He used to teach me Accounting since it was his major and he was a pro at it. No doubt, as a teacher, he would lose his temper quickly but he would also control it for the sake of me.

He would take AG out on random dates, would bring flowers for her randomly, would daily pick her up, twirl her around and kiss her till she knew that she was loved. Till he could convey his message that she was needed, she was valued and she meant a lot to him. He would daily tickle her till she would laugh in his arms and I never missed that pool of love swarming in his tired eyes when he would see his wife laughing in his arms. He didn't only say that he loved her, he showed.

That little gaze he would do looking at her and then chuckling himself due to how beautiful he found her? Xos was all of it. From helping me to being there for everyone, he was a fucking gem and I was not at all ready to lose him so early into the game.I hadn't even thought about it.

The day we wheeled him into the hospital and decided to send him in for scans, who knew.......... who knew that when he was going away from us on the stretcher into the testing rooms........... he was actually going away.

Who knew that now he wouldn't come back ever? Who knew that this was actually the last time he was going away from us before it would get permanent?

Nobody knew. And I could bet my whole life over this fact that if we would have known? We wouldn't have let go. Never.

I would have laid on top of him and would have hugged him so tight, never letting him go away from me, even for a single bit.

I remember sitting on the chairs with a crying AG next to me who was just afraid of what might happen to her husband. She loved him and he loved her and the love that they both shared was something I craved to have once. Onceeeee. Even if it would be short-lived, I wanted to experience that.

I was holding AG's hand and trying to calm her down when after around half an hour the doctors came to us and pulled me aside. Knowing that AG was pregnant, they didn't want to break the news to her this way to avoid anything disastrous, although.......... they did break it to me that way.

He told me how Xos had expired on the spot, before they could even finish conducting the tests. How, they had tried so many ways to get him back to life, but....... but he couldn't make it. That his time was up. He just had this much to live and his time was over now.

They gave me a file to sign the papers allowing me to confirm that I would be the caretaker of Xandros Davidson, could take the dead body home and prepare everything for the burial.

And I remember how I had told AG quietly, after a lot of reassuring, consoling and hugging. And I still remember how she reacted to the news. A cold shiver ran down my spine when I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes, thinking back to that day.

I always thought my dad walking out on me was the darkest day of my life, but I was proved wrong when my mother passed away. Then I thought that the day of her funeral was the darkest day of my life but I was proven wrong again. And this time? This time something told me that this was the harshest black day I could ever witness in my life, and that nothing could beat this.

Xos leaving us.

I had told him multiple times that I loved him. Multiple multiple multiple times that I adored him, cared for him, appreciated him and how he meant so much to me. I remember facing one of those episodes in my life where I ran to his office crying only to feel more loved at his shocked expression and how he quickly threw his folders over his desk to come and hug me.

I remember hugging him tightly and crying my damn eyes out when his constant concern threw me over the edge. It was engraved in my heart and memory for how I had told him that day that I really appreciated his company and how him being there had made my life easy. How....... how love could change so much of a person's life, letting every bright colour blossom like a drop of ink in water. Spreading around till everything was colourful.

But now, it all seemed less. It all seemed close to none and futile. I wished I would have told him more, I wish I would have hugged him, cried in front of him again and told him how much I love him, how much I adore him and how much I never want him to ever leave us.

Ever.

But he left.

Xandros Davidson Elias left us, a month before his daughter came into this world.

A man who lost all his family, tried to pick himself up, and when after a lot of tries, he finally did? He found a girl. He found a girl whom he loved with all of his heart, whom he respected, took care of and showered all of his blessings on her. Xandros treated my sister with utmost respect which made me respect him even more than I already did.

And right before he could welcome his daughter into this world, that they both had been trying since years? Before he could hold her into his arms, rock her, swing her around, rub his nose with the little of hers, whisper sweet nothings into her ear and kiss her lovingly, showering all of his love on his daughter, even see her?

Xandros expired.

His heart was weak and couldn't take too many emotions all at once.

Maybe the constant struggle in his life and his family loss made his heart that weak, because that was the only explanation we could find.

We buried him the next day and he took all of our happiness and feelings alongside him as we lowered him into the ground, my hands touching his body for the last time before we covered him in mud.

Ava was fond of reading books and when Xos had passed away, she had chuckled and whispered to me one day, after she was done crying, mentioning some characters that were from the book Xos's boss's wife had written, "He was the Ashton to your Massimo."

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I honestly don't know what each of you are feeling. I might edit it and make it more emotional if it wasn't right now.

Peace.

A.ZChaudhry

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