I Still Miss You 💔. By A.ZChaudhry

Chapter 25

XANDROS

"Sometimes............. sometimes there is so much to say that being silent is easier."

Ava sat in front of me, "If you need time, I can give you that. I don't want to force you, Xos."

I sighed and shook my head, "It's not that."

"Then?"

"I lost my relatives, I lost mum, dad, Toby and a sister. I don't want to lose you."

"Sister?"

I nodded, "Mum had a miscarriage right before delivery. Before Toby. She couldn't make it."

Ava sat next to me and held my hand, "I'm so sorry."

I chuckled, "Never your fault, hun. It's just..............."

"Hmm?"

I looked at her as I tried to keep my tears at bay when I whispered, "I don't know how much longer you or I will live. Everyone I loved, passed away in a split second and I just don't know how much more time we have, angel." Her eyes softened as a tear rolled down her cheek when I wiped it away, "I know it's you. It might be too early to tell you this, but I know that you are THE ONE for me. I may not be "the one" for you, but for me? You certainly are.

I can already see you marrying me, being my beautiful bride and carrying my kids inside you. I can picture a family with you, coming home to you, kissing you and telling you how beautiful you look in pyjamas with flour all over you and a cranky ass baby in your arms as you make cookies for us." She laughed when I chuckled and intertwined our hands together, both of us gazing there when I nodded, "I see it all.

You. Me. Together and never separable. I just.......... I just don't want to delay more, Ava. I have already lost so much, I'm just not in a position to lose more. I know we are university students, first year students, about to be second year students," I looked at her and smiled, "Being horrible students doesn't mean that we'll be horrible parents."

She laughed and laid her head on my shoulder when I kissed her head, "I love you, Ava Grace. I fucking love you so much and I can tell you it's love. I can tell because I am scared to lose it."

She stilled and kept sitting there when I pulled her by her hand and rushed upstairs to her room. Locking it behind me, I just pulled her in for a hug. She first tensed around me and eventually gave in. I rubbed her back and kissed her head when I whispered, "There are two things swirling densely in this world and terribly been mistaken for; infatuation and love. When you see a woman and the first thought that comes to your mind is that, 'I need to be friends with her.'? That's infatuation. But when you look at a woman and the first thought that comes to your mind is that, 'I want to marry her. Make her my bride.'? Now that's love."

I held Ava's face in my hands and made her look into my eyes when I whispered, "And I love you, Ava Grace. I fucking love you so much. The first thought that ever came into my mind after I saw you was to wed you, make you mine, give you my name and make you my bride. Nothing less than that."

She made a puppy face when I smacked her head, "Go fuck yourself." She GASPED when I laughed and pointed at her, "Now THAT'S our love."

Ava giggled and jumped into my arms when I held her close to me, her wrapping her legs around my waist as I hugged her. Her mum was on her way or I would have laid my girl down and simply made love to her for the whole night. To tell her and show her for how much she means to me. That I only see her and her as my life now, the reason for me to live and work hard for. That's all about it.

*

We all were having dinner together when Owen asked, "Monsieur?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled, "Yes, dumboo?"