annihilation (Charles Leclerc)

forty

August 7th:

"Yeah, yeah Pierre told me you guys haven't spoken in two weeks what's that about?" Yuki asked down the phone, he always calls when he's concerned.

I flippantly replied, "He's just on drugs."

"Not funny, what's going on? You can tell me you know, it's not like I have anyone else to tell." He replied.

I laughed back, "Dead serious, he's on drugs and won't admit it."

His tone of voice changed, "What.. how?"

"Fred never drugged Carlos, we have proof. Fred claims he's never drugged anyone and they've searched his house and he had none there." I explained as I walked down the road to Pascales house.

"Doesn't mean anything Quinn." Yuki reminded me, perhaps I was teaching.

"Well, that's what I thought. Charles has been tested positive though, I asked his lawyers." I admitted.

Yuki sounded shocked, "You spoke to the boys lawyers?"

"I know I'm a crazy bitch," I sighed "Carlos has told me himself he suspected Charles was taking performance enhancing drugs of his own accord months ago! His own teammate!"

"I don't know Quinn."

"Yuki, I went to his medicine cabinet to find it locked and he keeps the key hidden away, I mean who has something to hide like that? He's been drugging himself." I confirmed, well I think I can't really prove it much so maybe I'm theorising.

"Damn," Yuki sighed not really sure what else to add "I don't think he'd let Fred take the blame like this though, Charles is a good guy."

I raised my brows, "Is he?"

He snorted, "Don't even, you're his girlfriend."

"Doesn't mean he's not a bit of a dickhead."

"Quinn." Yuki spoke firmly.

"He'd say the same about me, it's fine. I need to go now anyway, but I'll call you back later." I spoke to him as I got to the gates of Pascales home.

"Lando wants dinner later are you coming?" Yuki asked to which I agreed before hanging up the phone, at least I had something to look forward to after this potentially tortuous chat.

—————

"And yeah, I haven't spoken to him and I don't know if he's said anything to you, I'm just concerned," I paused "I don't want to stress you out if it is nothing, but I also want you to be aware."

"Oh my god." Lorenzo sighed as he leaned his arms forward on the table, Pascale was sat next to him in silence.

"I've been waiting for someone else to say it," Arthur just spoke "He's been acting so strange before the races, running to his drivers room half an hour before and not celebrating after."

"You really think he is?" Pascale asked me.

I simply shrugged, "Well I don't know, I'm sure he wouldn't but I just don't know. I really hope not."

"He has enough talent, he doesn't need to use drugs to win? I mean he's one of the top drivers on the grid!" Pascale exclaimed which I couldn't disagree with, even when I hated his guts I would still say he was one of the best drivers on that grid.

I sighed, "I don't know if one of you wants to bring it up or maybe you want me to try? I'm just.. worried."

"Yeah we will definitely mention it, it's just a hard thing to grasp really-

"Maman, Est tu a la maison?" Charles called out, oh fuck, Arthur quickly got up and ushered me to his room with him, it wouldn't have been weird for me to just be in there house if everything between Charles and I were good.

But they weren't.

"Oh Quinn, what a messy season you've had." Arthur commented as we sat down on his bed, we are the same age and had always been close in school but sort of drifted when I left at a young age and raced more with Charles.

"Tell me about it."

"You know, it sort of disgusts me that your dating my brother." He randomly said, making me laugh hard, I'd never heard his opinions on it much.

He then shrugged, "But on the other hand I wouldn't really want anyone else to be my sister in law."

"Are you talking to anyone right now? Or enjoying the single life?" I asked him as I admired his bedroom that hadn't changed since we were seventeen.

"You haven't met Carla? Oh shit you need to meet her, we've been dating for months Quinn."

I was shocked, he'd always been sort of shy and kept to himself so when he had a girlfriend it was a pretty big deal, "You've never mentioned a Carla? Tell me all."

As soon as he was about to begin Charles opened the door, his arms folded over his chest as he looked to me "Quinn, can we talk."

It wasn't really a question that I had a choice in, more of a statement as I stood up from the bed, "We'll chat later Arthur, you should come to dinner with Lando, Yuki and I tonight." I invited him as I walked away, Kika would be there with Pierre also and it would be nice.

Charles walked down the hallway and up the stairs so we were on a different to level to everybody else, "Look, I don't know what you are going to want me to say." I told him first as we sat down in the cinema room.

They were rich rich.

In his eyes I find out past and questionable future. It holds the sadness of lost years, the torturous longings of a million what ifs, and the possibility's of what could be.

I try to look away... try to close my eyes and shut out the fervour his green eyes spear me with, because I don't want to admit that I'm scared. I don't want to open myself up and admit if this doesn't work out he has the ability to shatter me- to annihilate me completely.

"You're so different than anything I expected." My words came out soft, I wasn't sure the intention behind them as they slipped from my mouth.

He turned toward me, and for a second just stared then set a big hand on my cheek "You are everything I never expected. Never anticipated. Everything I never knew I'd need. I'm so sorry Quinn."

"What are you sorry for?"

He let out a breathe and shut his eyes tightly, "I think when you came up to Formula one, I felt so threatened by you. I mean you've always been incredible and I knew you'd beat me easily, I needed an extra boost and I just- you know."

I nodded along.

"It's fuck- I don't know it's stupid it's really stupid and I'm done now it's just hard and-

"Let's just start with you not leaving my side ever again." I told him.

"You..." he swallowed a lump in his throat "You still want me?"

"Still? Did I ever stop?" I asked as he brings my hand to his mouth and brushes his dry lips against the skin "I'll never stop wanting you Charles, I love you."