Savin' Me (Part 1 of 3)

Part 41

Nathan's POV:

Day Two: In the ward, I sat on the floor in a glass box so the staff can monitor my behaviour like a goldfish in a bowl my head resting against another glass wall, fuck me this is one thing I never wanted to happen again every thought runs through my head like a hectic runaway train, thoughts of my smashed up car still taunting me, angering me, the thoughts of Connor and how much I want to kill or harm him for what he's done to Raya and my car, that's when a hallucination of Connor appears in front of me and that's when I start running over and smashing the fuck out of the glass box that I'm in "fucking baby killing fuck" I say as I smash at the glass I hear a staff member on the intercom "Nathan's kicking off needs restraining as soon as possible" I don't know how quickly I was restrained on the floor for trying to fight what seemed like a real Connor Emmerson stood in front of me I still go back to fight him struggling to get passed being restrained until I just give up and let Connor win once I'd calmed down the hallucination just stopped and vanished that's when I get up from being restrained and the staff leave the room I just sit on the floor and  start crying just thoughts of Raya and how she must be feeling, wondering if she knows where I am the fact I can't phone her and tell her is the worst feeling in the world.

Raya's POV:

I sit on the couch and feel like the minute Mollie walks through that door I can see exactly what's going to happen I'm going to get shit for not being at work, for having a meltdown at work, and that's when I hear a knock at the door I get up from the sofa and answer the door and standing there is Livvy "hey girl" says Livvy "come in" I say Livvy comes in the house and sits herself down "what's up Livvy? thought you hated me?" Livvy gives me a confused look "No I don't Raya everyone was upset that night" says Livvy "I know but..." I say before Livvy jumps in and interrupts me "I haven't come here to argue Raya Julian told me he told you but then he heard screaming and hectic breathing and we were worried about you what happened?" asks Livvy "Had a panic attack and I've been excused from work for a while which is a shame as when I feel like this I want to throw myself into work" I say Livvy looks at me "have they dismissed you so you get in a better headspace?" says Livvy "that's what they said but I still get paid so kind of worth it but at the same time it's not" I say "I know what you mean" says Livvy "I am sorry hun I promise you that look to keep our minds off what's happened fancy a girly night no going out, out just Pjs movies and Netflix?" I smile and look at Livvy "Sounds a good idea" I say and with that, Livvy gets up and goes to the toilet to change her clothes and I head to my room and get some jamas on.

Livvy and I start by watching a comedy I've been liking Ricky Gervais's Afterlife, for those who haven't seen the show it's about a man whose wife has died of cancer, the guy struggling with life without her and every day he does the same thing of going to work, speaking to his colleagues Lenny, Sandy, his brother in law who is also in charge of the local paper and all the other characters impact the main characters life to stop him from committing suicide, a few episodes in and Nathan is still on my mind that's when I turn to Livvy "Livvy can I ask you something?" I say "Sure anything," says Livvy "Well I was wondering if Nathan has his phone with him?"  I say "he does but they won't let him have it at the moment just cos they've got to keep an eye on him and things," says Livvy "What are they doing?" I ask  "At the moment from what I've been told by Julian Julian's got contacts at the hospital and they're giving him updates on Nathan  at the moment he's just still hallucinating and keeps going on about a baby killer," says Livvy "hold on baby killer is he hallucinating about my ex Connor?" I say "yes and they're  having to restrain him from this hallucination of Connor and to the staff they say it seems so really so they're keeping him in this glass box thing until he calms down," says Livvy "fucking hell," I say throwing my head back into the settee "I keep feeling like all this is my fault" "it's not babe look the police are doing everything they can to find Connor but they've had no results at his house it's like he's hiding out until he thinks he's in the clear to come back to his apartment" says Livvy "Livvy tell me if you think this is vile in anyway shape or form but..." I say before taking a breath and thinking through what'll come out of my mouth next "but in a way I think it's better he's in the mental institute than out on the streets trying to hunt down Connor as I don't want him sent down for murder" "you know what Raya?" says Livvy "hmm" I say "I think you're so right to be honest and in no way is that disrepectful it's just the truth and that's all there is to it" says Livvy I'm actually in shock that Livvy agrees with me that's when Livvy turns the TV off and turns to me again "Raya I'll always be here for you no matter what as we've not just got to be there for Nathan we've got to be there for you too hun" "thanks Livvy honestly I'm blessed with yous" I say Livvy puts her arm around me and gives me a kiss on the cheek "we're blessed too Raya and we're all family and times like this families don't strain they get stronger our Ruby's taking it hard to she misses Nathan but I was grateful she wasn't in the house when Nathan did have his meltdown on Sunday" says Livvy "what happened Livvy?" I ask "f...fuck" says Livvy as she puts down her coffee "basically it's a bit of a blur Nathan was going on about Connor and George fucking George" "what saying?" I ask "just that if he sees George again he'll brake his legs put him in hospital stamp on his head then started picking up knives and begging Julian if he could borrow his car so he could go and stab Connor and I said to Julian Jules I can't put up with this" says Livvy "what did Julian say?" I ask "Julian was against it I said to Jules "if he doesn't get help now he'll be in prison and I can't allow him to do it you've got to think about what's best for Nathan and not yourself come on" and Julian just sighed and said okay and we had the ambulance car come and Nathan just said goodbye to us and as much as I hate what I've done Raya I had to do it for everyone" says Livvy "Livvy I don't blame you at all you've done the right thing in my eyes" I say "I'm glad you see it that way Raya and as soon as he's stable enough I'll take you to see him, if you want to stop at mine your always welcome to" says Livvy and we continue to find another series to watch.

An hour or two later Auntie Mollie came through the door "Raya what are you doing here thought your last client was at 5 pm?" says Mollie "Livvy what are you doing here?" fucking hell here we fucking go "Mollie please I'm not here for arguments it's about our Nathan" says Livvy "what's happened?" asks Mollie "Nathan's in the psych ward" I blurt out "what?!" shouts Mollie "Raya's been dismissed for a few months by her boss" says Livvy "what?!" shouts Mollie for god's sake Mollie's on broken record mode "she had a panic attack at work and she's only just found out herself today" says Livvy and with that Mollie just comes over to me and hugs me "aww Raya I'm sorry darling" says Mollie and with that I cry for the third time that day "Mollie I've got the number on my phone for the hospital" says Livvy "thank you Livvy" says Mollie "no problem I'll put it in your phone" says Livvy that's when I look at my phone it's Curtis a message reads "hey Raya you alright hun?" I best give him a ring "What is it, Raya?" asks Mollie "Curtis was meant to be giving him a bell" I say "go for it Raya" says Livvy I smile and head to my room.