Savin' Me (Part 1 of 3)

Part 32

Raya's POV:

In the bathroom, I have a pee before I spot some makeup wipes and start to remove my makeup eventually everything from my foundation, eyeshadow, lipstick, lipliner, eyeliner and mascara are all removed so I am fresh-faced for bed, I turn the bathroom light off and walk back to Nathan's room.

Nathan's POV:  

I start to put out Raya's jamas and know I have to apologise for my behaviour in the upcoming weeks "Nath you okay babe?" I hear Raya's voice behind me I turn around and see her all-natural only thing still in is her curls and braid "Yeah babe got your jamas ready" I say "Thanks babe" says Raya and she starts to put her jamas on  bottoms first before her vest top "Raya there's something I've been meaning to say" I say "yeah what's up?" says Raya as she begins to put on her vest top "well I know these few weeks haven't been easy I know I've been a nightmare about one person in particular but when I've put you on edge and made you worry sick I just want to apologise for everything" I say "aww babe there's nothing to apologise for I understand completely like my dad and mum at Levi's funeral I was worried sick I mean yes parts of me will always love my dad and what he said at Levi's funeral was one of the nicest things that man's ever said to me and one day you'll hopefully have that too with your dad" says Raya I sit on the bed next to her "I don't think I ever will do babe but I know where I am and I think right now with Julian and Livvy and our Ruby and you there's not a thing in the world that could send me back to where I used to be" I say "yeah maybe not and I don't think there's anything in the world that could mess this up" says Raya and that's when she kisses my forehead and goes to turn the light off, I get under the covers with Raya and we have a cuddle nothing but silent bliss and I hope and pray that nothing in the world will mess us up, eventually with tired minds and tired eyes we fall asleep.

The next morning rolls around and I'm the first up I throw on a tee shirt and go downstairs where I am joined by Julian and Ruby "Hey up bro you are feeling alright?" says Julian "Yeah I'm good just need a tea and would Livvy mind if I used her Nescafe pods to make Raya a coffee?" I say "Sit down bro I'll make you tea and Raya a coffee what does she like?" says Julian "She likes the caramel macchiato," I say to Julian "Coming up bro," says Julian as he grabs a glass mug from the cupboard I sit down at the table and that's when I'm nudged by Ruby "cheers for that sneaky VK bro" whispers Ruby I wink at her "Raya still in bed?" "yeah, yeah," I say to Ruby "Same story as Livvy yet someone who's not as romantic as you Nath won't make his fiancee a cuppa," says Ruby giving death eyes at Julian "Hey I'm letting her sleep after you and Raya left Nate we had her mate Kendall not the brightest spark in the box shit faced wouldn't stop buying Livvy drinks and then there was our Sara being well Sara kicking off at Aidan's girlfriend," says Julian "which one's our Aidan's girlfriend is she the one with the brown hair and not much to say?" says Ruby "that's the one to think I used to be close with him but now I only put up with him when I have to," says Julian as he hands me my tea "cheers bro," I say "when were you and Aidan close?" asks Ruby confused that our Julian who is quite prim and proper on the surface would ever have hung around with someone like our Aidan who can't hold down a job for more than two weeks, is always skint until he begs Auntie Sonia for money or robs off someone else to fund his drug habits "a long time ago Ruby you was only young maybe 3-4 at the most basically Aidan used to come round and spend time with me as we were a year apart in age used to play video games but when I got to about 15-16 he was already hooked on cannabis which lead to what he's on now" says Julian before me and Ruby say in unison "coke" "yep and I was struggling Mum started getting ill at that point and I didn't have anyone I mean you were young so was Nath and I couldn't tell you two the story as you two were both too understand and I couldn't go to dad or mum so the only person who could save me was Uncle James and Auntie Vicky anyone else wouldn't have got me it was Vicky that gave me the kick up the bum and paid for me to go to university and make something of myself and now I'm here no drugs, looking after you two, engaged to be married in a year or two and with a lovely girl in our Livvy" says Julian, to me looking at our Julian sometimes I forget he went through as much as I did as the way he masks it is totally different to how I mask it like yeah I know we both hide it best we can, him he's in a profession where he has to remain quite clinical but I know behind the eyes he's still hurting and healing. On the other hand, I've let go but hold grudges and take most of my aggression out in the gym with Jay and Jordan but other than that I don't know how to feel whenever my dad's in the same room I get this horrible feeling of anger, hurt, pain and with those three feelings mixed same feeling anyone would hold for any monster who's hurt someone.