lovely desire

rain

"I think maybe you're not alone, you're lonely."

Do you ever walk somewhere and feel like you're being watched? Like a pair of eyes is constantly staring daggers into your back but when you look out, you don't see anybody?

I'm sitting in my living room, watching Keeping up with the Kardashians and I'm having that exact same feeling once again.

I shift uncomfortably on the couch before I decide it's no use. I turn off the TV with a frustrated sigh and get up. I need to get out of this house- no, I need to get out of this town.

I've no joy in being here anymore. The boy who broke my heart is haunting me and on top of that, I live in his goddamn house.

I quickly change into warmer clothes. Autumn is right around the corner and since it's getting dark in about two hours, I'll need to wear something other than the tank top and shorts I'm currently in.

I put on a black mini skirt with tights and Doc Martens. I also choose a slightly thinner, knitted sweater on top of a blouse to go with it. I grab my small bag, phone and keys and am out of the door.

And I know exactly where I want to go.

I look up the timetable as I head for the subway. I take the same one we've always taken when we went to New York.

The subway is surprisingly empty but at least I can sit alone. I don't need a random guy to accidentally put his hand on my thigh or up my skirt. And what I also don't need is to ruin said skirt with the self defense skills I learnt three years ago.

Maybe Aryan would come back if he heard I was assaulted.

Screw that. He probably wouldn't even know.

I arrive at the train station in New York an hour later. There are way more people here than in New Jersey and I love it. I need new people.

I need my boyfriend.

My eyes fall down to the silver ring with the blue heart-shaped diamond still sitting on my finger. I never took it off.

I make my way through the busy streets of New York and stop at a small café where I take a seat and get a cup of tea. Then I watch people pass by as I sip the hot camilla water.

"News flash," a woman in the TV hanging next to the counter suddenly says, followed by the BBC soundtrack.

"Hey can you make this louder?" A guest asks the waitress behind the counter and she does, also interested in what's about to be said.

"New information from the W.D.C. University considering the weather catastrophes appearing this autumn have recently been updated. Rita Fox is talking to one of the experts, Dr. Ryan Hemfrey."

The image shrinks to the side and a new video appears. It's a live interview.

"Yes, hello," the middle aged man says as he pushes his glasses up. Grey specks peak through his dark stubble and I spot a golden ring on his finger.

"Further inspections have cleared our theories a little. There won't be any natural catastrophes, thankfully. However, we have calculated that there will likely be a lot of rain and thunderstorms appearing especially in the eastern regions of America. We advice every citizen to-"

The picture starts to stutter and grey specks take over the screen before the signal disconnects and the TV goes black.

People start to get nervous and talk frantically, causing the employees to try and calm them down. I finish my tea and get up.

Outside, the sky darkens and a heavy, very very cold wind whooshes through the streets of New York City before it starts to pour in masses.

The citizens quickly make their ways somewhere to hide from the cold rain. The streets are a blur of humans rushing and cars driving and shrieks and laughs and yells and I'm consumed.