lovely desire

monologue

I just look at him, overwhelmed with the whole situation. I wipe my hand over my mouth and grab my chin with helplessness plastered all over my face.

"Is she- Did she-" "She's okay for now but the doctors will have to run some tests once she wakes up in order to see if her brain took any damage" he answers before I can even build my question and I let out a sigh of relief.

If her brain took any damage
I never would have thought that I will have to worry about her being able to walk, move or even talk and think properly again. But I will stay by her side and support her, no matter what happens.

Archie brought Natasha to the hospital and to our surprise they said she was not intoxicated. Her body probably decomposed the drug before the tests were run, though this was very suspicious.

I talked to Greg and he gave me the work schedules of every doctor and nurse in the hospital. Three days later I am driving there with Marco and Greg at round about one a.m.

"Does everyone know their part?" I ask in a serious tone earning nods in response. Marco goes in first. As he walks past the reception the receptionist calls after him but he keeps on walking.

"Sir! Sir you- Sir wait please" he yells before getting up and running after him. Marco starts running and soon a few doctors and security guards follow him.

Then it is Greg's and my turn. We rush in, take the receptionist's card key that he left there and rush to the elevator.

"She's in room 386. I can give you twenty minutes" Greg says as we are on our way to the third floor. Once the elevator opens, he goes up to the reception and engages the two young women in a conversation. I waste no time and rush through the hallway, searching for number 386.

Almost at the end I spot it. I stop in front of the white door. A number has never looked this intimidating yet mysterious to me. My heart is suddenly pounding in my chest and I do not know what it is that scares me so much of going in. But this is my only chance so I take all my courage and slowly open the door. I quietly get in and close it.

I don't dare to face her but I have to see her. I hesitantly turn around and there she is. Lying on her back, her white blanket is covering her lower body and hanging down on both sides. Her arms are resting next to her. Her nails have turned a dark blue with hints of purple in it.

Her face is pale - even her lips. She looks a lot skinnier than usual and her long, brown hair looks less shiny as it is lying beautifully behind her and on her shoulders.

There is a variety of cables attached to different parts of her body and a breathing tube is inserted into her mouth.

But the worst sight is her belly area. It is unfamiliarly flat. The sight of my daughter lying in this fucking filthy shoe box comes to my mind the longer I look at it.

I take a chair and sit down next to her before I grab her hand gently, scared that I will hurt her in some way.

"Hey my love. It's been a while. Greg told me to talk to you so I'll just hope you hear me. Marco is currently running away from the security and Greg is talking to the receptionists so that I can have a few minutes with you. I miss you. I miss you so so much. It hasn't been the same since you left. I thought bringing you to your parents will help us and that they might even start to like me but now I might lose you forever. I wish I never would've given you away. The both of you. I promise I will take revenge. I will find out who did this to you and our daughter and I will kill them. I don't care about the consequences. All I want to do is wake up next to you and realize that this is just a bad dream. I want you to wake up and tell me you're okay. I want you to look at me and tell me you forgive me for leaving you alone, again. I'm so so sorry baby. I need you. I need to hear your voice, I need to feel your touch, I need to hear you laugh, I want to sleep and wake up next to you. I love you. I love you with my whole heart. I love you with every vein that runs through my body. I would die for you and I live for you, every day. Please just come back to me. I never wanted us to end, especially not like this."

I look at her as tears stream down my cheeks. I feel so selfish for still wanting her in my life even though she had to go through so much pain, all because of me.

I get lost in my thoughts with my forehead resting on her shoulder when suddenly I feel her hand tighten the slightest bit and then loosen again.

I look at her in shock. Is she going to wake up?

"Mabel?"

No answer.

"Baby wake up. Please."

I look at my watch and see that twenty minutes are already up. My heart clenches at the thought that I have to leave her again. She probably won't wake up and I just hallucinated.

I place a kiss on her forehead and turn around to look at her one more time before I leave.

As Greg and I walk to the elevator we suddenly see doctors and nurses rush past us. I turn around and see that they're heading to Mabel's room.

"Fuck" I say and instantly run back with Greg following me. As I walk in I hear the loud beeping of the heart monitor that is standing next to her bed.

My heart drops and fear overcomes me as I watch what is happening.

"Her heart stopped again. Initiate cpr in 3, 2, 1" one of the doctors says before they try to revive her with electrolytes. I just stare at the scene in shock, not able to move.

"Aryan we need to leave" Greg says as he grabs my arm but I stay rooted to the ground. I can't leave right now.

"Back up; 3, 2, 1" they repeat a few times but nothing happens. With every heart beat they initiate her upper body jumps up a few inches before falling back onto the mattress, her arms rise and sloppily fall down again. At the tenth beat I can't trust my eyes.

Mabel suddenly opens her eyes. They are wide open in shock as she tries to breathe through the oxygen mask covering her face. The doctors, Greg and I seem equally as shocked.

Quick announcement:

We're going into the final rounds of this book. There are only a few chapters left. Feel free to comment and give me feedback on your feelings and things I could improve or that you like :)

However, I am planning to write a second book if enough people are interested in one. Let me know what you think!

Have a nice day!🥰