VAPOR (Sensations 1)

Chapter 27

Maylea

-Okay, students. The exam starts now.

A general noise was created by all of us turning the paper to then start writing. My heart was racing as the teacher continued to say:

-This tests will determine your future so be careful with your performance and, most importantly, be extremely careful with your responses. -She was walking around the room, making me even more nervous-. Today you'll be doing five exams, with a fifteen minute break in between them; final marks will be posted on June 2nd, same day the institute will process your applications, so don't forget to bring your papers. If you have any questions, raise your hand and I'll go to your desk, in the mean time, I don't want to hear anything but the sound of your pens; if I hear or see something suspicious, your exam will be ended and you'll have to go to summer school. This being said, good luck.

I stared at my paper for minutes, my hands were shaking like crazy, sight was blurry, the headache in crescendo... I was doomed. I felt like I knew nothing but I couldn't leave the exam blank, I had an objective, people had faith in me, I had to get in Stanford no matter what. Ten minutes went on, I had to try and do something. I knew everything by heart, I've been studying for months, dammit! I can do it, I know I can, but looking at the exam made me dizzy; this can't be happening. Get your shit together Maylea. Just think... Let it flow. Do it for her. I gotta make her proud of me wherever she is.

Thinking of her usually takes all my strength away, but that day was different, having her on my mind during that first test made me keep going, so late I realised the consequences that would have on me, but it worked for a while and I wrote everything I knew on that paper, wasn't aware of what I was doing,  just wanted it to be over. Damn, it was only the first test, I don't know how I'll be able to do the rest, I'm about to collapse and this barely started. I better get focused or I'll end up failing or fainting.

A round of exams passed and now we had a longer break, so we could have lunch and relax for a bit. I felt like I was in trance, my mind was blank, white noise all over it, like the static of an old TV, my hands even hurt from writing so much but somehow they didn't seem like mine; I was in such a strange limbo in which I wasn't aware of the way time was passing nor of the things happening around me, but at the same time all the external sensations were multiplied by ten, I felt the wind literally getting under my skin, the sunlight was blinding me, the bench I was sitting on seemed sharp somehow. This was worse that being high.

-Hello! Earth calling Moon.

Suddenly, Axel's voice made me come back to reality; I saw my friends there, in front of me, didn't even realize I was with them until that moment. Ax was looking at me, worried; I guess I was pretty gone...

-I'm here, I'm sorry, I'm okay. -I said, staring at my hands, trying to process they were real.

-Girl, you took dissociating to a whole other level. -Nick said, giving me a water bottle, followed by Ley, who gave me a sandwich.

-It's the stress. Some sort of defense mechanism, I don't really know what happened. -I explained and took a sip from the bottle the brunette handed me.

-And you think is normal for stress to affect you like this? -Axel asked.

-It's been some tough days, okay? -I said, taking out a cigarette and lighting it-. When this is over, I'll be fine.

-Moon, love... We are pretty worried about you... -Hayley started to say, sitting next to me-. You've made of this exams something extreme and it's not doing any good to you.

-There's nothing to worry about.

-You always say that and you always end up fucked up. We already know how the story goes, if there's anything going on you can talk with us, for God's sake. -Axel exclaimed, kneeling in front of me, forcing me to look at him.