Bloodline (Supernatural)

11 - 'What's Wrong With Me?'

  When I come back, I'm in my designated room. I also notice Cole is nowhere to be found, or Cas.

My head pounds as though someone is beating on my brain with a sledgehammer. I keep myself on the bed just as precaution until I feel like I can get up without the room spinning.

My whole body shakes as I realize what had made me pass out to begin with. What happened...when I snapped at Cas...

I can't explain it. Something felt different, like I had just...I don't know, unlocked something in me. Like some sort of...

No. If I go down that road that means I was never born normal. It means that I...I may not be fully human. That someone may have known the truth about me and has been lying to me all this time.

My stomach rumbles at me, but I don't want to leave. I should want to leave. I should want to go find Cas or Cole. But I don't need to go searching for Cas, because he's right in my doorway, with some food to get my strength back. I do appreciate the gesture, I just don't appreciate him appearing so soon since I just woke up.

It's complete awkward silence for the next few moments. I'm not sure where to start, and Cas doesn't look to be sure either. The elephant in the room sits on my chest.

"Sam and Dean are going to come back once their case is finished," Cas tells me softly. "They believe they're close to wrapping it up. I, uh, brought you some nourishment. You didn't sustain any injures when you passed out, I made sure of that."

I sit up. "Thanks. Um, where's Cole?"

Cas walks my food to me, putting some distance between us after. "I put him in another room, for now. Though he may not...not feel it, I feel better knowing he's not on the dungeon floor."

"There's something wrong with me, isn't there?" I ask quietly.

"I...I'm not sure how I should answer that, or if I want to. You're upset as it is, I don't want to make you worse, Willa."

I snort. "How considerate of you."

"Once Sam and Dean return, we'll bury Cole."

"I don't know if I can wait that long." I hug myself. "It'll take them a while to come back, and...I can't just let Cole r-rot in a room somewhere. Please, Cas, can we just...can we just take care of it ourselves?"

Cas remains silent for several seconds. "I'll see what we can do. I'm sorry, none of this is what you want to hear, I'm sure."

"You're right, it's not. What the demon said...I want to think he's lying, but..." I shudder. "I'm starting to wonder if he was telling the truth."

"There's one way to determine that."

"I don't want to do whatever I did. Never again. It was scary. It could have been worse. Whatever that was..." I shiver, looking to Cas wearily. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you, Willa. You're in shock. You've lost someone you cared about."

"I don't mean about that, Cas. Normal people don't react and do...whatever that was that I did earlier."

"Whatever happened in the dungeon, it weakened you severely. We'll get to the bottom of this."

"We don't even know what it is," I say, picking at my food. "I say we...we start looking now. If this is something harmful, Sam and Dean can catch up when they get back."

"There is the off-chance this could be something good for you. But until we know for sure, we can't assume."

A troubling thought comes to mind: "I'm dead."

"What?"

"Sam and Dean...they hunt monsters."

"Willa, you're not a monster."

"Well, I'm not exactly human. You felt that...that burst of power, too, in the dungeon. That doesn't scream human to me. Does it to you?"

"Willa, you have nothing to be scared of. Sam and Dean are your friends. They'd sooner help you than hurt you."

"Is that what you say to the other creatures before they die?"

"You are not a 'creature'. You haven't hurt or killed anyone."

I might as well claim I've killed Cole. He's dead because of me, because of this bigger mystery that's unfolding right in front of us.

"Let me ease your mind. The Winchesters have no reason to hunt you. You have done nothing that would make them want to kill you. They saved you, after all."

I exhale.

"The demon put those words in your head. You know the Winchesters better than you do the demon. Who do you trust more?"

"I don't know. I mean...Sam and Dean really don't need to find out, do they?"

"They...already have," Cas confesses reluctantly. "I made them aware of what transpired in the dungeon."

"Damn it, Cas. I was hoping it would be our secret project. I don't want to add more to their plates."

"Until they get back, we'll do some digging of our own."

"You can. I need to...to take some time to get used to this." Whatever this is. "Question."

"Shoot."

"Can you...know what kind of power I have? Does it have, I don't know, a magical property you can tell the difference of?"

"I'm not a magic bloodhound." Cas chuckles. "The demon said something about your lineage. I'll look into that and see if that can help get us an answer."

"My mom is grade-A human, and my dad is a no-show. Good luck finding any info on that bastard."

"Well...and I'm thinking out loud here...the fact that your father isn't in the picture may attribute to being part of the world you're exposed to right now. It's a theory, one that I can run with."

"You do that, Cas. I'm just going to..." Mourn? Cry? Be afraid of myself? Try and discover that power again? I had tapped into it when my emotions were high. Is that what's required to activate it again?

It wouldn't be so difficult to do. I'm upset that Cole is gone. I'm pissed that Finn killed my boyfriend. I'm freaked out that I have powers and just now only realize it. There's a list to pick from.

"For now, just take things slow and easy. Until you're in a clearer mindset, take some time to rest."

I try to smile at Cas, but it fails, horribly.