Hammer & Anvil (Steel Rebels MC #2) [Ongoing]

SIXTEEN - House of cards

Isabella

Isabella picked up the light blue colorpencil and carefully filled one of the empty shapes on the paper. The mandala was almost finished, so there wasn't much white left. It was already the third in a row she was coloring. If she continued at the same pace, she would need a new coloring book latest the day after tomorrow.

Chazz had delivered the book that she was working on at some point before midday along with a big box of coloring pencils, large over-ear headphones that were Knux's and clothes for her and Duke as well as some other personal items. 

It had made her cry, even though she had been crying already for half of the night and part of the morning already. But she wasn't distaught as she was from her memories but deeply touched. And now after the tears had dried was able to find a lot of comfort in having things that connected her to Knux and her friends. Chazz had even brought some of Knux's club shirts. One she had she put on right away. It still smelled like Knux, even after washing.

It was a good smell.

Probably her favorite.

It made her feel happy that her friends were thinking so much of her. Apparently, the pens and coloring book (and a bag full of chocolate and candy) had been Helium's and Kitty's idea. But unfortunately it didn't help much in the regard that she felt utterly and completely lost.

If not to say broken.

She knew now who she was and what had happened. But that knowledge brought along all kinds of other fears and worries and heartaches that felt just too much  for her. She felt like a baby bird that had fallen from the nest and now had to try to learn to fly while the ground came closer and closer.

But she wasn't ready to fly. She hadn't learnt to spread her wings.

Or maybe she had and she just couldn't remember anymore.

And it didn't help that she was stuck in the hospital. She was scared of the hospital, she was scared of the doctors. She wasn't able to stay alone with any of the male doctors, as it had resulted in her hiding already twice in panic in the bathroom. Both times she had violently ripped off the cables attached to her, sending the whole room into an utter chaos as equipment fell over in her hasty retreat. Both times it had taken Duke a long time to coax her out of her hiding place. After it had happened the second time, he had also made her confess why she was so afraid.

She couldn't let herself be drugged again by someone who was supposed to help her.

That had resulted in a change of doctors assigned to her. She was able to stand a female doctor - as long as Duke was in the room as well.

A part of her felt terrible for making Duke do all of this for her, staying with her the whole time, when he probably had other things to do, but she couldn't help it.

She felt so powerless, so in need for protection from the world.

So small.

Isabella pulled the headphones off her head, when she had finished the picture and raised her hand to wave at Duke to get his attention.

"What's up?" He asked, looking up from his screen. He was sitting in at the table in the corner and working on his laptop.