I know.

Twenty Three

August had gone hard on me when I'd eventually made it to him this morning, ranting and throwing the ball a little harder than normal. I laughed it off as a hangover and said he shouldn't have let me drink so much which seemed to stop him asking further questions.

I am still so unsure what my life has become over the past 6 days. It's a complete 180 from last Thursday when the only date I had to worry about was one with myself and a bottle of wine on the sofa. Now I had Jamie playing whatever game he was playing and now Fin. Anyone with common sense would be putting a stop to both of these situations. With Jamie for being so hot and cold and Fin for being, Fin.

I'd essentially done nothing this morning. Pacing around finding pointless tasks for myself like reorganizing the fridge and freezer. It didn't need doing but I couldn't just stand still right now. I needed to be chaotically busy because if I thought about this morning in too much detail, I am almost 100% sure I would give myself a panic attack.

Of all the people, in all the world, Griffin is the very last person I ever pictured kissing me. I even had his brother higher up that list than him.

And even then, if Griffin did kiss me. I never in my life imagined it to feel like that. Even now, hours later, I still felt warm. I could still feel his touch lingering against my skin and every time I thought about that, my heart picked up and I started feeling dizzy again. So busy was my only option. I couldn't handle it right now. I didn't know how to handle it.

This was going to end in a disaster. That much I knew for certain. It was going to end one of two ways. Griffin goes back to London and doesn't come back, leaving me strung up and unsure where we stand and inevitably sending us back to how we've been for the past 10 years. Or one of us ends up getting hurt. Either way, this is going to hurt someone. There isn't an escape from that. Unless I put a stop to it right now. Like I should have done this morning before he kissed me. I should have been more adamant. I'm too soft for my own good sometimes.

"Rory?" I blinked, Penny coming into view from where I'd been in my own world. "You okay? You were just staring into space."

"Oh." I chuckled, looking down at my dough covered hands and then back to her. "Yeah. Sorry. I had a few too many Gins last night. I'm a little spacey." Penny laughed at me. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Some guys here for you."

"Griffin?" She nodded and I turned my head to the clock. "How busy has it been?"

"Steady today." I nodded slowly.

"Want to take your lunch? I'll watch the front head home for some food." I walked over to the sink, scrubbing at my hands to get all the rubbish off them, drying them quickly and taking off my apron.

"Are you sure because-"

"Honestly Penny, it's fine. Take your 45. I'll see you soon." She gave me a soft smile, pulling her bag off the side and dashing through the front. I followed her to the front of the store, Griffin stood in the middle of the shop, looking at the giant logo on the free wall. Leaning against the doorway, I loosely held onto my elbows, letting out a quiet sigh as I watched him. How'd I get myself into this mess? "I sent Penny on her lunch so I'm watching the front." He spun around to face me.

"Were you just watching me?"

"Are you really that unaware of your surroundings?" He stood still, eyes locked on mine from across the room. "Are you just going to stand there then? Staring at me?"

"You were staring at me first." He walked over to me slowly, between the display shelf and wall, stopping a few inches away and peering down at me. "How busy is it today?"