Hush [Hold]

Ch. 46

"Jimin, you need to get your act together." Namjoon sat at the end of the sofa beside Jimin's feet, placing the little trash basket near the sofa so that Jimin could have quick access to vomit. "You can't keep drinking and missing out on your shifts. We need you, I need you."

The fresh clean scent that usually filled the air was replaced by a pungent scent of weeks old milk, alcohol and vomit combined. This burned Namjoon's nose and he couldn't take in a small breath without having to gag. When he had first entered Jimin's apartment, he was surprised by the scattered trash, empty bottles laying around and the bad smell while Jimin laid in a fetal position on the sofa. Jimin was always cleaning his apartment and didn't like to leave a mess so it took an awful lot for Namjoon not to cuss him out. Before he had decided to sit down and talk with Jimin, Namjoon decided to pick up around the apartment.

"Please Jimin. I need you to take better care of yourself."

"I can't." Jimin finally spoke. "Even if I wanted to I can't." His voice sounded dry, hoarse and broken. Hearing this disappointed Namjoon.

"Jimin, she's just another girl I don't understand why-"

"She's not just another girl. She was my everything." Jimin interrupts and props himself upright. "Don't ever call her that. Don't ever disrespect my ex like that." Namjoon saw the flames in Jimin's eyes and the reddening flush of his cheeks from the anger that began to boil within him.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. But Jimin, she's your ex girlfriend. You need to accept the fact that she's not into you."

"Shut up."

"She cheated on you, Jimin."

"I said shut up! I know she did! But I can't just stop loving and wanting her! I don't know why I can't react the way I did with the last girl who cheated on me. Ji Eun is..." Jimin sighs as he fought his tears. Choking up and holding back the urge to break down. "I love her."

With those words, Jimin breaks down and feels the pain in his chest coming back. He buries his face into his hands as he lets go and cries in front of his friend. Namjoon couldn't bear the sight of his fragile state. He would never understand the pain he is feeling. He can imagine it though. As if the pain just continues growing and becoming more intense to the point it feels like it'll stop beating. And that pain remains in your chest. Tears began to well in Namjoon's eyes as he saw his once cheerful, giddy friend fall apart and suffer from heartache. Jimin continued to cry into his palms. Memories of their time together, reminding him of what he lost. The love he can't get back caused more heartache and tears to come.

"Jimin."

"I'm sorry but it's true." Jimin snuffled after speaking. His eyes were red and puffy. "I love her to the point I can't live without her. Ji Eun was the only girl for me."

"Jimin, you can grieve all you want but please take better care of yourself." Namjoon didn't want to upset him any more or argue with him. Jimin was already in a broken state.

"I'll try to take better care." Jimin snuffles and wipes his eyes with the palm of his hands. He takes a deep breath as he looks around. Noticing the missing empty soju bottles, the trash had been picked up. He glances at Namjoon then slowly pushes himself up off the sofa. As soon as he had stood up, his vision becomes blurry and slightly falls forward. Namjoon was quick enough to catch him and sit him back down.

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Yesterday." Jimin puts a hand over his chest and laid his head down on the arm rest of the sofa. Namjoon shook his head.

"Be honest with me." Namjoon replied sternly as he gave a serious look at Jimin.

"Four days ago." Was all he managed to say before keeling over. Namjoon quickly grabs the trash basket and places it in front of Jimin as he began to throw up. Namjoon averted his eyes and rubbed small circles on Jimin's back to comfort him.

"You need to eat." Jimin throws up a second time. Namjoon hurries to the bathroom and grabs some tissue to give to Jimin. "Don't be drinking on an empty stomach. You need food, Jimin." He returns and hands Jimin the tissue.

"I'm too sick to eat."

Jimin wipes his mouth with the tissue and throws it into the trash. Namjoon then heads to Jimin's little kitchenette area and looks around for anything Jimin can eat. As Namjoon opened the little cupboards, he saw that Jimin barely had anything to cook. Even in his refrigerator. Namjoon had already scolded him about his ex. He didn't want to cause another argument with Jimin so he remained silent. Jimin heard him looking around. After preparing himself for the disappointed eye roll and pep talk from Namjoon, Jimin looks over at his hyung.

"My money went to the booze."

Namjoon rolls his eyes and pushes the refrigerator door closed.

"Jimin."

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's alright. You need to get some fresh air anyway. Come on." Namjoon walks over to Jimin and holds out his hand. "Let's go to the market and buy some food. I'll make Haejangguk* for you."

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해장국 : Haejangguk : It's a soup that cures a hangover and it's made of dried napa cabbage, vegetables and meat in a hearty beef broth. It can be made differently as well and go by different names. Just search up "Korean hangover cure" and you'll be provided a list of soups.
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"That sounds so good." Jimin stands up with the help of Namjoon but he freezes and wore a worried look. "What if I see her with Jung Kook?"

"Face your fears Jimin. That's the only way you can over come them. If you see her with him, you have a choice to either allow it to hurt you or to brush it off and walk passed like she doesn't exist."

   Jimin looked a bit hurt to hear such advice from his hyung but he did come up with the wisest things to say and most of the time he was right. Jimin bit the inner of his cheek before giving in and nodding his head. For the past week  all Jimin has done was sulk about and refused to eat. He missed out on work and, like he said, blew his money on booze. And knowing Namjoon only wants to help made him realize how selfish he was being. Jimin decided in that moment that he won't let another relationship ruin him again. Namjoon saw the small spark in Jimin's eyes and straightens his posture.

"You're right. Face my fears. Let's go." Jimin nods his head and gives a weak but confident smile at Namjoon who returns the smile back.

"Great. Don't worry about paying for it. I'll take care of it. But just this once Jimin." Namjoon puts a finger in the air and Jimin rolled his eyes playfully.

"Arasseo." Jimin slowly makes his way to his bedroom. "Let me shower first and change."

"Great. Because you smell bad and I didn't have the heart to tell you."

   Jimin gives a middle finger without turning around and mockingly laughs. Namjoon chuckled and looked around to see if he missed anything while cleaning.