Hush [Hold]

Ch. 41

Jimin stood there before the elevator doors, baffled by what he just saw. Did I just see my girlfriend and Jung Kook kiss? Why didn't she tell me she was here?

"Was she even going to tell me she came back?"

Jimin backed away slowly, tears welling up in his eyes as he felt his chest beginning to tighten. Making his way back to his apartment, he struggled to get the key card in so he used his thumbprint and unlocked the door. The walls suddenly felt like they were caving in and it was becoming hotter. His clothes felt tight and he couldn't breathe. His surroundings were spinning while everything echoed around him.

Falling on all fours, his door shuts behind him.

"I-I.." He stutterers. "Why- when did... why?" He couldn't breathe. Every breath was shallow and hard. "Ji Eun.." Jimin calls out her name. "Ji Eun."

He falls into a fetal position and tries to calm himself down. But how could he? The love of his life betrayed him and broke her promise. Focus. Focus! Calm yourself down, Jimin. He thinks to himself as he tries his best not to hyperventilate.

"Remember the-the five things." He exhaled and put his hands in his hair as he rocked himself back and fourth, looking around him. "Five... five things you can see." He sees a sky blue vase sitting on his coffee table, his sandals, three little photos hanging on the living room wall and a plush teddy on his sofa.

He tries to slow his breathing and take deeper breaths.

"Four-four.. four things you can physically feel." Jimin let out a shuttering breath before closing his eyes. My hair, my shoes, the soft texture of the carpet, the bracelet on my wrist.

"Three things I can hear." His heart rate was beginning to calm down along with his breathing. The walls felt distant and everything stopped spinning. "My clock ticking, the cars passing by and my breathing." Jimin takes a deep breath and slowly exhales. Slightly shaking from the on coming attack he was having, he relaxes himself as he sat there.

"I can smell the peppermint stick fragrance and my coffee brewing. I can taste the red ginger tea I drank before coming home."

With those said, Jimin was now calm enough to stand but the pain remained. An image that will haunt him for as long as he lives. Jung Kook kissing Ji Eun in the elevator and smirking at him before the doors closed completely. He cries as he sits there, knees pulled in and arms folded over with his face buried into them.

"I'd never cheat on you. I would never break your heart either. Believe me, I'd never do anything behind your back."

Jimin let out a loud cry. His heart was immensely broken and he couldn't believe he'd been lied to. Ji Eun told him she'd never do anything like that yet he caught her kissing Jung Kook. He felt so low and alone, unloved and hated. His insecurities came flooding in along with dark intrusive thoughts relating to self harm and death. Jimin calms himself down and stands up. Wiping away the tears as he walks to his bathroom to blow his nose. Jimin washes his face in cold water, forcing himself to forget her because he couldn't deal with everything all at once. Jimin dries his face then walks out, going to his cabinet to pull out a bottle of Crown Royal Deluxe that was 40% proof and began to pour four shot glasses. At this point he didn't care. He's been hurt, lied to too many times he wants it all to stop and go away. Opening the liquor bottle, he takes a big swig worth three shots before setting it down and grimaces at the strong burning taste.

Jimin gags at the aftertaste and his throat continued to burn. "Holy shit." He coughed. I should have known better. I should have figured it out from the start. Jung Kook always had a thing for her. He would always come by and wear a smile on his face every time he'd see her. Jimin shakes his head and downs the first shot. He stares at the other three for a moment.