PROMISCUOUS BOY

Chapter 34: Rehearsal

(TOM'S POV)

I arrived home, tossing my keys onto the kitchen counter and pulling the hoodie I burrowed from her brother off of me. I kicked my shoes off and left them by the door. Bill sat on a stool, munching on a burger and some fries. "Y/n told me you stayed the night at her house." he said. I turned around and looked at him, "yeah I did. You gonna pass that information on to Lena?" I replied. "What is your problem? I apologised, move on. And I'm not even friends with Lena anymore." Bill said. "You never should've been." I said, stomping angrily up the stairs not listening to anything else he said.

I entered my room and slammed my door so hard the house shook. I dug into my pocket and pulled my phone out to see people had left me many messages and missed calls too but I just ignored them. I felt a wave of sadness and regret come over me when I saw y/n's name in my conact list. I stared at my screen, tempted to call her and beg for her back but knew I couldn't.

It's better this way.

I told myself. But really, deeply inside, it wasn't, and I knew that. Yet I said it was to make myself feel better. I didn't wanna take the responsibility of committing in a relationship when I've never been in one before, I feared messing it up and hurting y/n. I was there when she got hurt by Javi, I saw it all unfold, and I can't bare to see her like that again, especially not because of me. I couldn't do that, rather just play it safe. And I absolutely hated the way Katrina was right about Javi and I being alike. And even if I did stay with y/n, there's no way I'd enjoy keeping it private.

I want to be able to rub in everyone else's face that she belongs to me and I belong to her. I wanted to kiss her and touch her in public in front of any other man that laid his lustful eyes onto her. I wanted to take her out and spoil her everyday in public as much as I can at places like shopping centres and restaurants. But I couldn't. I would hate life and hate our relationship if we just kept it private, behind nothing more than closed doors. And plus, I'm a big blabbermouth, I couldn't keep our relationship hidden. I'd either end up spilling it in an interview, to one of my friends, or do some flirty touchy shit in open spaces.

I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands, I was so stuck.

(Y/N'S POV)

I spent the rest of the day at Ramona's house with the other three boys working on our new album.

"What are we even calling the album?" Jonah asked, holding his electric guitar in his lap. Ramona looked up from her notebook and thought, "I don't know, what do you think y/n?" everyone turned their heads to look at you. You were distracted and zoned out, thinking about what happened with Tom you didn't realise they were speaking to you. "Huh?" you said, snapping back into reallty. "What do we name the album?" they repeated. "Oh! Uhm.. I don't know ask Ramona." you said, zoning out again. Ramona rolled her eyes and shook her head.

You were so distracted and not yourself and going through a hard time, normally you would share it with the others so they could comfort you, but you couldn't. You had to suffer in silence, put on an act and pretend everything was okay when really you felt like crawling up into a ball and just sobbing.

You then grabbed the notebook off of Ramona and got the idea of putting your feelings into a new song. You couldn't speak it, so write it instead.

"Take it from me boy, you don't wanna know what I did to combat my conscience."

You wrote, as Ramona leaned forward and glanced over your shoulder at what you were writing.

"Left unconscious all my enemies.
Take it from me boy,
You don't wanna know
Where the blood on the carpet came from.
I forgave them with the love I gave."