Red, Gold, and Blue (Chigiri, Bachira, Isagi x Fem Reader)

Chapter 19

When I enter Team Z's room, I abruptly come to a stop when I see Bachira sitting on the floor, the only boy present at the moment. He's holding a paper airplane.

Damn, the irony is almost too much to handle.

He glances over his shoulder at me and waves subtly.

"Hey, Y/N!" He exclaims brightly, and jumps into a standing position.

He has limitless energy, even after all the difficult training. It's insane.

"Look at this!" He continues, showing off the paper airplane, "I made it!"

As he launches it toward me, he chuckles.

"I can fly-day!" He shouts, a bit too loudly, but he's clearly having a good time.

I don't know what it is——maybe his humorous personality, or his cute smile. But the moment makes me tear up. And as I pick up the airplane from the ground, teardrops begin to fall down my cheeks as I gently hug the folded paper to my chest, as though it's Bachira himself.

I look up, able to see the concern on his face, even though my vision is blurry at the moment.

"Why are you crying?" He asks, "Are you hurt, or something?"

I shake my head, assuring him that I'm physically okay.

"I made a huge mistake, Bachira!" I exclaim, "I'm such an idiot! You're not my second choice, I swear! You're my only choice! As a matter of fact, I don't even have a choice at this point! It's you or nothing——and I just realized it!"
I approach him quickly, grasping both of his arms desperately as he remains frozen in place, seemingly shocked by my sudden outburst.

"I'm sorry!" I continue, trying to keep my voice from quivering, "I was so stupid and greedy and——"

Before I can say anything else, he lets out a long sigh.

"Y/N, please," he whispers, "You promised me... You promised that we would just be friends from now on."
I place both fists upon his chest as I clench them, frustrated.

"I didn't mean it, not really!" I say frantically, "Please... I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be friends. I want to cuddle you on your futon, and I want to kiss you in the middle of the soccer field! I don't want half-hearted hugs and cute little waves."
I feel another wave of tears hit me as he backs away from me and closes his eyes, as though he's thinking to himself.

"I can't do it..." he murmurs, "It's not because of you, Y/N, it's just that I don't want to feel the way I did. It's been so hard for me to find people I care about and trust... So when one of them breaks my heart, it's like the worst pain in the world. So, please, let's just be friends. That way neither one of us can hurt the other."

He gives me a small smile before turning his gaze away from me.

I won't give up! Not now, not ever!
"No!" I shout, stomping toward him and gripping his face in both hands so that we're only inches apart from one another, "I refuse to settle for that."

I lean into him, and I can visibly see that he's aching to give in to me and close the distance between us, but then at the last minute, he pulls away abruptly.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this," he whispers, and then walks away from me, heading out of Team Z's room.

I think about chasing after him, but decide that it would be pointless. And so, instead, I glance down at the paper airplane on the floor, and fight back my tears as I trace my hand over its surface.

What have I done?

———

That night, I can't fall asleep at all. Bachira's futon is empty, and I haven't seen him since the heated conversation we had earlier.

I feel so lonely that I could freeze to death. I miss the feeling of his warm arms wrapped around me when I was half-awake in the dead of night. His touch has always been so gentle and comforting.

But I never have had to question where I stand with him, and it's clear to me that right now, he couldn't care less about my desires and wants. He's putting his own mental wellness first——how can I blame him for that? After all, it's completely my fault we're in this position. I took him for granted in every way possible.

For the entire night, I toss and turn, dozing off for what's probably a total of twenty minutes or so, before the intercom comes over the speakers and announces that it's daytime and the boys only have one hour before the ninth day of training will begin.

Sheepishly, I approach Raichi after he's gotten into uniform.

"You were right," I admit, giving no context whatsoever.

Even so, he seems to have gotten the hint.

"Told you so," he retorts, and I narrow my eyes mockingly at him, "You're an idiot, Y/N, you know that?! How'd you manage to get yourself in the friendzone with someone who was literally your biggest fan?!"

I sigh, propping my chin onto my open palm.

"I didn't appreciate him enough," I respond, yawning ever-so-slightly, "And I really hurt him emotionally."
Raichi cringes as I relay this information.

"Well, thanks for giving me the satisfaction of getting to say "I told you so". Now go away and deal with this shit on your own time. I've got better things to do than whine about the honeybee."

I grimace, baring my teeth angrily as the shark-toothed boy gets up from his spot and walks away from me.

No one's been able to help me with my problem so far! Agh——what do I do to make him forgive me?

And then I realize——Bachira's not mad at me. He never wanted me to beg for forgiveness——if that was the case, he wouldn't have offered to be friends with me. Apologizing won't do me any good at this point——he already knows I'm sorry. So, I'll have to go about this a different way, and prove to him that I'm worthy of his trust this time around. Words and pleas won't change his mind. But maybe since I broke his heart with foolish actions, I can mend it with an act of love.