Red, Gold, and Blue (Chigiri, Bachira, Isagi x Fem Reader)

Chapter 15

The rest of the boys' training is difficult for them, but fun for me. Although, I find myself frowning every once in a while when I glance in Bachira's direction, for it's difficult to catch his gaze seeing as he's become indifferent where I'm concerned. The afternoon turns into night and before I know it, it's already time for bed. Only nine more days left until I leave here.

I can't help but feel extremely sad about this.

I roll onto my side, nuzzling the side of my cheek into my pillow, only to find myself staring at the back of Bachira's head through the darkness. Before, he always used to face me when he went to sleep. As a matter of fact, we haven't said one word to each other today, which is very strange. Usually, he's the one I end up talking to the most. It's easy talking to him because of how honest and mature he is, despite his weird side.

I find myself unable to fall asleep as I keep looking in his direction, wishing he would turn around and flash me a wide grin as those honey eyes of his search my face through the darkness.

But as I realize moments like those are never going to happen again, a lump begins to rise in my throat, and my vision becomes blurry with tears. To put it plainly, I feel like shit. This is one of the saddest moments I've experienced in a very long time.

As I sob uncontrollably, I try to keep my sniffles quiet as teardrops stain my pillow. And I find myself waiting for a pair of comforting arms to wrap themselves around me, just like that time when Chigiri had said those mean things to me. But then I realize——Bachira was the one who consoled me that day, which means no one's there to dry my tears anymore. And so, I end up embracing myself, rubbing my own shoulders with gentle hands, pretending that I'm in his warm arms. I'm finally able to fully understand what he meant the first night we spent together as futon neighbors, when he had said: "Sometimes, when I feel lonely, I need a hug... But I don't have any friends, so I just hug myself."

Now, here I am wishing for nothing but to experience another one of his random, unpredictable embraces just one more time.

———

The next morning, I race to the bathroom before any of the boys wake up. I cried myself to sleep last night, and I need to make sure my eyes aren't puffy so no one notices. I dab cold paper towels on my eyelids after seeing that they're pink and swelled, hoping to make it less obvious. After ten minutes or so of this, I bravely walk out of the room and re-enter Team Z's abode, only to find most of the guys have woken up since I've been gone.

Chigiri is leaning against the nearby wall, so I smile at him and approach slowly, joining him to his left.

"Another day of training," he whispers, "I wonder how much I'll be able to lift today?"
He smirks at me and I chuckle a little.

"You'll do great," I assure him, praying he doesn't notice that my undereyes are still a bit irritated.

He yawns nonchalantly and forces himself to stand up fully.

"I'm going to grab a bite to eat before training starts," he tells me, "I'll see you when I get back, Y/N."
He brushes a finger softly along my cheek before exiting the room. I find myself smiling gently.

I'm glad he couldn't tell I had been crying the night before... That would've been awkward.

Although, on the way to collect my clothes for the day, I run into Isagi, who is rubbing his eyes sluggishly.

"Good morning, beautiful," he greets with a grin, and I feel myself become flustered at his complimenting words.

But no wonder he's being so straightforward today! I mean, we full-on kissed yesterday morning!

"H-hi, Isagi," I reply kindly.

As he narrows his eyes at me, I grow worried that he may have noticed the puffiness of my face, but then he smiles.

"Want to grab a bite with me? I'm going to head out in five minutes or so."
If we leave then, we might catch Chigiri in the cafeteria! The three of us eating breakfast together?! Sounds like a dream come true!

"Yeah!" I exclaim excitedly, "I'll meet you there. Just let me get dressed first."

Having forgotten all about my previous heartache, I practically skip out of Team Z's quarters toward the ladies' changing room, but I accidently run head-first into a certain golden-eyed someone, who has just finished putting on his training uniform, it seems. I lose my balance a little bit as I bump into him, but gain control of myself before I fall backwards.

"Sorry about that!" I apologize awkwardly.

Damn it! Why did this have to happen? Just when I was starting to forget all about what went on between us....

"It's fine!" He assures me in an unexpectedly bright tone, "And good morning, Y/N!"
I smile as big as I can manage.

"Morning," I respond, swallowing hard as I gaze anxiously at him.

He's acting just like his normal, energetic self. I'm surprised he's not a bit more melancholy, like he was the other night. Did he seriously get over me that fast?

His honey eyes widen as he looks at me.

"Hey... your eyes are all red and puffy," he informs me, pointing a finger at my face, "Were you crying?"

He noticed? But how?! None of the other guys did——maybe he just heard me crying before I fell asleep last night? No... I was completely silent, I made sure of it! Damn it, why is he so observant?

"No!" I shout, a bit too forcefully, "It's just my allergies! They're acting up apparently!"
For some reason, I feel angry——angry that he's been the only one to acknowledge my distressed state. The truth is, I wanted the other two to notice the fact that I look like I've been crying——I wanted them to console me, like Bachira did in the past. But... they didn't, and that's the harsh reality.

Damn it... why'd I have to run into him like this?! If I hadn't, I wouldn't feel so disappointed right now!
"Oh," Bachira says, thinking to himself, "I have some eyedrops in my locker, actually——my mom packed them just in case I had an allergic reaction while I was here. But I've been totally fine, so it's a fresh bottle. You can have them if you want."

I sigh for a long time, hitting myself internally.

Why is he being so nice to me like this? Shouldn't he be upset with me? Or can't he at least say something mildly mean to me?

"Thanks, but that's okay," I murmur, "I lied about the allergy thing anyway. I was crying last night. The truth is, I could use a hug right now."

He furrows his brow at me, that same stupid grin remaining on his lips all the while.

And without saying anything, he extends his arms outward, offering me a hug. I feel my entire world brighten with color as I practically leap into his embrace, squeezing him tightly as I breathe deeply, the happiest I've been in the past day and a half.

"You could've just told me the truth, you know," he whispers, "After all, we're friends, right?"

But when these words fall from his mouth, I feel my heart sink into despair.

That's right——things aren't the same as before——even if he's hugging me, it's just that. It's nothing more than a meaningless, simple hug between friends.

He pulls away before I'm ready to let go and waves playfully at me before heading back inside of Team Z's room. And this is the moment I really realize just how big of a mistake I've made.