Chapter 14

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I would never forget the first time I shifted into my wolf form: Feeling like a complete stranger in my own body while writhing in agony, not knowing when this torture would end or if I would even survive. It had been the most horrifying experience of my life. I remember thinking what a blessing it would be if I could just switch off all my senses and feel nothing at all. Now I knew better, would gladly choose this excruciating pain over the complete emptiness Lucy had me imprisoned in.

It was impossible to keep track of time at this strange place, minutes felt like hours. The worst part though was being so utterly helpless: I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream or cry, couldn’t even see or hear. It was as if I didn’t even exist. The only thing I had left were my thoughts – and they were set on total panic mode. Would Caleb even notice I wasn’t me anymore? What if Lucy would never show mercy and let me regain control over my body? Would I ever see light again, ever feel again?

Occasionally I would catch a blurry glimpse of something or hear the fraction of noise, but before I could even start to decipher it, the sensation was gone and it was only me and the black hell again.

 … bring her back – RIGHT NOW!”

The furious growl came without a warning and made me wince in shock. I blinked in confusion as I saw a fuming Caleb looming over me, his hands pressed to the wall at each side of my head.

Hold on – I just winced and blinked! And I could see and feel. I was back!

“Gemma?”, he rasped, a shimmer of green appearing in his pitch-black orbs.

Instead of an answer, I flung my arms around his waist and buried my face in the soft fabric of his white shirt, beyond thankful he had managed to talk some sense into Lucy.

“Shhhh… my love. It’s okay, it’s over”, Caleb tried to soothe me while gently caressing my back. It was only then that I realized that I was shaking. My whole body was trembling in fear.

“She s-sounded s-s-so angry”, I sobbed. “I thought she w-would … she would keep me locked in there f-forever!”

All the tears I had been forced to hold back earlier poured down my cheeks like a waterfall. Caleb waited until I had calmed down a bit before he forcefully grabbed my upper arms.

“What the hell just happened?”, he demanded to know.

I told him about my argument with Lucy, not specifying what the argument was about though.

“She overpowered me and took full control of my body in seconds. I stood no chance against her!”, I finished my explanation.

“You gave your wolf a name?”

He cocked an eyebrow, something I had never seen him do before. Why did he sound so surprised about this fact?

“Well … It felt so weird just calling her wolf all the time, so she and I decided on a name for her. How do you speak to your wolf then?”

Caleb’s gaze darkened.

“I don’t”, he plainly stated.

“You don’t? But then how …?”

“When we talk about the wolf in us, it’s just a metaphor for our wolf instincts – we don’t mean it literally, Gemma.”

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