"You Cleaned Up My Mess" Gaege Gibson X Reader (First Person POV)

Chapter 34: Past Troubles

*A/N Warning: Self harm is mentioned and talked about during this chapter!

 I look around in search of my mom but can’t find her anywhere. I also can’t find my dad. He must have gone with my mom wherever she went. At least she’s not here to see me suffer. I look at Gaege and try to smile. He holds my hand, soothingly. 

Everybody agrees it’s time to eat cake and for now, put my little mental breakdown behind. 

Gaege grabs the knife this time. I help him cut the cake and everybody cheers. After eating everybody starts to leave. I’m still a little shaky from the adrenaline rush but I manage to stay calm. 

Marie walks up and gives me a much needed hug. I can feel the anger radiating off of her. I pull away and look into her blue eyes. 

“That bitch!” 

“There it is” I say, smiling sadly.

Marie laughs, frustrated, and tries to calm down for my sake. I drop my smile when I see my mom walk towards her car with my dad. He nods towards me, letting me know that he talked to her. It doesn’t matter anyways, it’s not like she’ll listen. When I look back at Marie she has her middle finger out. I laugh, that’s my bestie.

“He knows,” I say, trying not to cry.

“What is he gonna think?” I continue.

“He’ll love you no matter what and If he doesn’t he’ll be at the bottom of an ocean” Marie says smiling. 

I smile back, for Gaege's sake let's hope he still loves me. The ocean is a cold place. 

I walk over to where Gaege is sitting with his parents. 

"You okay dear?" His mom asks.

I nod and we all head home at last. Gaege's parents are staying in the guest room right now.

We walk to our bedroom and I change quickly into pants and a t-shirt. I walk to Gaege and we stare at each other for a moment. Before I can say anything he pulls me into a hug. 

"Why didn't you tell me that you used to hurt yourself?" He asks, still hugging me.

The question I was afraid of. That and why. I hate it when people ask why.

"I was afraid you'd think differently of me" I say starting to cry.

I lay my head on his shoulder and sob. He sits down and I sit on his lap, burying my head in his chest.

"Why?" He asks finally.

I sigh and look into his concerned filled eyes. I'm not sure I'm ready to tell him why yet. Who am I kidding, he's my husband now. 

"I was hurting, I needed a place to release that hurt."

He holds me tighter, almost like he's scared to let go. I cling to his warmth and eventually the tears stop. He still wants me, broken, scar'd me. He traces my arm lightly. 

"I never did it there, if that's what you're searching for" I say.

He moves his hand, ashamed to be caught.

I get up and lift my pants down just to my hips. For the first time since my parents found out I show someone my scars, my pain. His eyes full of pain he lightly touches them. 

He must have never noticed before. They almost blend in with my skin. 

"I'm sorry you went through that" he says, his eyes moistening.

I pull my pants back up and kiss him softly. Cherishing the way his lips feel on mine. I sit back on his lap and we stay like that until Gaege's mom knocks on the door.