Until We Meet🤎 ~ jayules

108

"Where do we go now?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go now?" i sang

once the instrumental ended i took off the headphones and left the box. eddie daps me up on his way in, "your songs are always so much better than mine" eddie says

i chuckle which made him smile. i went and sat down and they prepared for his solo to be recorded.

i was about to text jayden but then i remembered we broke up yesterday. i still don't understand how she thought i was still stuck on joey. i talked to bella and she told me some stuff about her conversation with jayden and SHE herself even said in my face that she 'knows' i'm stuck on joey. i looked at her so stupid bro. now unless my feelings are unsolved from me and his relationship i know for a fact i'm over him. i love jayden. she's who's saving me. but i don't wanna string her along when she knows i'm hurting.

NCHS 🦁
4th period - lunch 🥪

~ jayden pov

as many times as i've been on and off w jules i should know the reason why we always are. i shouldn't be surprised now should i? i've become used to it and i start to expect this to happen at least once or twice a month. with her mental health she's always up and down and her family is trying to protect me mainly from being super damaged by jules. even her own mom texts me asking me if i'm ok when she asks if jules is. her mom checks up on me a lot and sometimes she asks if jules has ran me off yet. it's not ever the answer she expects me to say which is yes because everyone jules has been with has abandoned her because they got fed up with her on and off shit. some call me stupid. some call me dumb. but i call myself just in love. i've never once in my life felt the way i feel for jules. even though we fight, break up, and argue over dumb stuff i know who jules really is deep deep down and she doesn't show that side to just anybody. i find it so genuine and pure. she's got the sweetest heart and energy you could ask for. i fight for her so much because i see everything with her. call me stupid i don't care. i'm so in love with her. i'm stupidly in love with her. i'll wait for her i don't care. if it's one person she knows she can trust to stay and not abandon her, it's me. she looks to me for everything. literally everything. jules still texts me she loves me and she sends me flowers and wants me around all the time. but when she gets bad she wants her space and she can get really rude and aggressive. she has hit me but i didn't take it too personally i forgave her. it wasn't like her to be like that. but i've never once put my hands on her. she's been beat on by joey i wouldn't do that to her. i made her a promise. just like she made me one. i don't think y'all understand how obsessed i am with jules leblanc. she's everything i see. she's my world. even when she tears it apart and i know i shouldn't tolerate her shit when she gets bad. i still stay. only because i'm obsessed and in love. she's the same way for me. she fights people over me. she's crazy over me. i knew from the start. but i don't know what she feels for me at this moment. i don't know it's me or joey in her eyes right now. i let her go so she can figure it out. and if she's meant for me, even if it hurts me badly, i'll accept it and move on. cus at least i'd know the truth ya know?

i'm currently in the stairwell by myself copying notes for next period. i have a test and i have to pass cus my mom will be seeing my grades. speaking of my mom we all had a sit down talk last night and she broke down crying and apologized to us and they forgave her. i had a hard time doing that. i was still hung up on how she kicked me out and insulted me made me feel so bad about myself that i literally had to run to jules for help just for jules to struggling with her own mental health. i couldn't let go of the fact she would argue with jules and how she would tell jules mom stuff i told her not to specifically share and it got jules in trouble. i did not like that at all. because jules would come to me and we'd fight about it or have really serious conversations about it. jules doesn't fuck with my mom anymore and i was surprised she was ok with me leaving her yesterday to live with her again. but she knows who much family matters to me so she didn't stop me.