This review was done by CadencePadgett0 for jachinthebox's Rebellion: Prince of Dawn.
Title: Rebellion: Prince of Dawn
Author: jachinthebox
MAIN FOCUS:
Structure and Pacing
I only focused on the first chapter due to my time limit. Please note that these are just my opinions and are supposed to help you grow as a writer.
Chapter 1.1:
When I first started to read, the first line drew my attention with a short description without info dumping. Amazing!
I enjoyed reading the descriptions because it's short and on point. However, the first chapter had heavy dialogue and it slowed down the pacing. You want to make sure to have a balance between dialogue and description without cluttering with world-building. Especially through dialogue.
Lastly, I noticed a gap in character development. I feel like you have introduced so many characters all in one chapter without slowing down a little. And sometimes I can't keep up who is who.
Overall, I think there's a lot of potential in this story.
