The Aftermath of Getting Away With Murder

Save It For Tomorrow

Pip sighed, her footsteps heavy as she slipped back inside of the RV.

Her arm felt heavy, too. A shopping bag, digging into her skin. How much candy did Cara need?

She took a deep breath and pulled open the window before sliding back into her booth, opening her laptop to finish an overdue assignment.

They'd been on the road three days now, stopping every now and then for food, Pip avoiding Mcdonalds for the life of her, not trying to revoke those memories of that night.

Though they haunted her, day and night, she could hide from the smaller things.

She could hide from the fact that she and her best friends could never be the same, a hidden secret buried under layers of skin.

She could hide from the food she ate that night, though not from the taste of it lingering under her tongue.

She could hide from the service plaza she and her friends had gone to, and the cameras that caught her face, cheek scuffed up, now scarred.

She couldn't hide from ghosts, but she could hide from smaller things.

Pip sighed as she started working, typing away as Naomi and Nat filed into the car, bags in their arms, too.

Cara and Ravi followed shortly thereafter, Cara volunteering to drive for the first time in this trip - a shock to all.

As Pip typed on her computer, the world slipped away from her. Her eyes distant, her mind lost. She wasn't back in that storeroom, but she was somewhere just as bad. Worse, maybe.

At that farmhouse, the fire prickling her skin from afar as she dragged Stanley's body outside, his blood forever imprinting in her, melting into her sweat.

His ribs, cracking under her hands, that sound living inside her, hidden behind those six gunshots.

She blinked slowly, breathing deep, but it couldn't bring her back. She was still lost in the depths of her memories, and Ravi had noticed.

He tapped her on the shoulder, and she was still at the farmhouse, even as she stood and followed Ravi to the bedroom. Even as she shut the door behind her, staring down at the floor.

"It's my fault." She told him in a whisper, a tear rolling down her cheek. "All of it."

"What? Pip, no," He shook his head. "What's wrong?"

"Everything that's happened in the past," She had been here before. Blaming herself again. A never ending cycle. "Every last thing."

"It's not your fault!"

"Barney's dead because of me," she whispered, drifting from the farmhouse to here, from here to the farmhouse. "Stanley is dead, because of me." Pip shook her head, lips quivering. "Jason is -"

Ravi hurried to her side, gently pressing his palm to her lips. "Pippa," he said sternly, voice soft around the edges.

"Sorry," she stuttered, stepping back from him. "Sorry." She said again.

Outside that room, all three of the girl's heads whipped around, finding each others eyes.

"Did she just say - ?" Cara stuttered, turning back to the road.

"Um, I...I think so." Naomi whispered, hand falling to her mouth.

Nat shook her head, disbelieving as she stood up and treaded slowly, with heavy steps, to the bedroom door. She rapped against the door with her knuckles, hand shaking as Naomi watched her.

"Uh, Pip?"

Pip took a deep breath, biting her lip and looking at Ravi with teary, helpless eyes.
"Y-Yes?"

"W - Um... can we talk to you?"

Her heart dropped. This was it. She was dead again. Her future was nothing, now. They knew, there was no stopping it.

Something buzzed in her ears and in her heart, eyes catching Ravi's again, now filled with fear. She was empty and she was full, and this was it.

"Uh, what about...?" She asked quietly, Ravi wiping her tears as she stood against the
door, holding it shut.

"Just...um," Nat turned to look at Naomi, and she stood to hurry to the door.

"We're, um, we're worried about you, Pip. We need to talk to you." Naomi told her, swallowing her tears.

"Okay," she whispered, grabbing Ravi's hand and opening the door. "Hi."

"Hi," Nat and Naomi said together, eyes catching each other's.

"I'm gonna sit down," Pip whispered, slipping through them and sliding into her booth, crossing her legs on the seat. "Uh, what's up?"

"We, um..." Naomi stuttered as she spoke, taking a deep breath.

"We heard what you said." Nat sighed, crossing her arms as she stood in front of the table. "You don't owe us any sort of explanation, but one would be great. I'm worried, and I'm lost, but if-"

"Plausible deniability," Cara mumbled to herself, eyes glued to the road. "Shit."

At the same time, the sister's eyes glowed with final realization of what Pip had done.

They had discussed it before, just a question in the air, but now Pip had confirmed it without even realizing.

They weren't going to do anything, and she knew that, but telling them felt like too much, even now. Even with Max arrested and charged.

It was a secret, one buried with Jason Bell, one locked away with Max Hastings, one hidden in between Pip and Ravi's entwined fingers.

"I blame myself for a lot of things," Pip said with a deep breath, gaining her composure. "Ravi always tells me that they're not my fault, but I blame myself anyway. I know you all heard me say it was my fault, and something to do with Jason, but it's not...it's not what you guys think. I'm not saying Jason's murder was my fault, I'm saying I blame myself for it. For stupid reasons, too. And I don't want to get into those right now. But we all know that it was Max; the evidence against him is uncanny. I'm sorry for scaring you, girls."

Everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, even Ravi; his hidden under the other three.

"Okay, next time, don't start saying that a murdered man is dead because of you, maybe, like..." Naomi said with a soft laugh, trailing off.

"I know, I won't. I'm sorry for scaring you," she said again, squeezing Ravi's hand under the table.

Her future was safe. She was safe. She had died and been reborn again, all in just about five minutes.

Ravi gave her a look, his brown eyes saying so much without saying anything.

"Oh, be right back," Nat mumbled, slipping her phone out of her pocket. "Jamie's calling me."

Pip smiled at her friend and at her white-blonde hair, watching her slip away to the bedroom to talk to the love of her life.

"Okay, Pipsicle," Ravi said, clapping his hands together. "Time for some wedding planning. No more work, alright? Save it for tomorrow."

"But-"

"Nope, no buts. This is a vacation. It's called spring break for a reason."

She sighed contently, leaning into his shoulder with a sigh and a nod. "Okay, fine. Because I love you," Pip whispered into his shoulder.

"I love you, too, Sarge."