𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐌𝐁- 𝙙𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙣

12. 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐘

— MY  HAIR-CLIP  FELL FROM MY  HEAD   AS I TURNED TO  LOOK  AT  HIM

"Can you not?" I fumed at Dallas, not acknowledging my accessory that had just fallen to the ground. He huffed under his breathe, frustrated at my attitude— though, i'm the one who should be frustrated. He acts like a five year old and it's all so agonising.

"I don't get it man" Dally rubbed his lips together, his hands on his hips as he stared deeply at me. His dark eyes making me shiver in a way nothing ever could.

"Get what?! what is there to not get Dal!? I mean honestly, why are you so surprised that i'm fed up with everything!"

Dally only looked at me with a mix of both disbelief and anger. He knew I was right about the way he treated me— it was shit. It hurt me, and he knew that. That was the worst part, he was perfectly aware. He knew that what he does and says always seems to have an affect on me, regardless of if it's positive or negative.

The more I ignored his constant red flags showing left and right, the further and further it pushed me down and the more I ended up getting hurt.

That's the thing about being close to somebody, and possibly even loving them— platonic or not.

They can hurt you over and over and over, yet you still run back every single time. People do it for different reasons, which is why it hurts more than it hurts for others. All that I can say, is that I do it for him. I do it for us. I know that there is an us, whether he would like to admit it or not— He just doesn't want to commit to it, he doesn't want to discuss what we are. He just does what he wants regardless of how I feel, which is what lead to this very moment.

"Cerise-"

"Shut the fuck up Dallas!" I yelled at him, neighbours probably watching through their windows as this all played out. "You need to get your shit together! I am not going to be one of your girl toys that you can fuck and then leave! I am not going to be Sylvia! I refuse! I'm not going to let you use me!"

Dallas didn't say anything, only stood there. That made me angrier, as his expression was cold and emotionless. Like a blank canvas, nothing was there.

"I may be less confident than them alright? but that doesn't mean i'm not going to stand up for myself!" I continued, my voice getting louder and more aggressive with each word. I felt fury in my heart and fire in my lungs even with the cold air nipping at my skin. I was a flame in the night.

The entire day I had avoided Dally, even when we were with the gang. He would give me glances and would attempt to make conversation with me, but I would turn and look the other way as I didn't want anyone to know about our "relationship" yet, if you could even call it that. I told him I didn't want to go too fast and I thought that he respected that— I suppose I was wrong. He got angry with me, in private of course. Now.. we are here.

Like I said, he does things regardless of how I feel or what I want. He doesn't want to discuss, he just does things.

"I'm tired.." I finally allowed myself to calm down, but as the storm calms down, the aftermath is shown. This was the aftermath of my storm, tears upon tears. "I don't want to move fast, I don't want people to know that we are together without even knowing what we are ourselves. You told me that you didn't know what we are either and that we could figure it out in our own time. Meaning that we can take it at our own pace. Now you are completely disregarding your words and moving too fast! Just fucking-" My voice broke, as did my heart. I crouched down, sobbing into my hands. This was all too much and I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't even think or say anything.

Areas of the pavement turned to a darker shade of grey as my tears stained the concrete.

I heard footsteps approach me, Dally's boots stopping in front of my crouched body. I took my face out of my arms and looked up at him, tears staining my face in streaks. For once, he looked sorry. He looked like he was actually guilty and that he wanted to apologise— and that's what I was expecting, but of course, it never came.

"Listen uh.." He paused, thinking. I waited for the "I'm sorry" or the "I'll do better" but of course.. all he said was—"You dropped this.." He held out my hair clip.

I clenched my jaw, standing up and snatching it from his hand before shoving it against his chest. "Fucking keep it you cunt." I hissed at him, my eyes practically ablaze. He looked at me with his eyes wide, his hands holding my hair clip.

I turned on my heels, not bothering to look back at him. I could tell he was watching me walk away as I didn't hear footsteps trail at all.

I didn't care what he did with that damn hair clip, he could throw it away for all I care.

I couldn't stand him, looking at him, hearing his voice. He needed to know that he doesn't get to have everything. Not everything goes his way. Other people are in this world and he is living in it. He doesn't get to have everything while we get nothing. Though.. I would come to learn that Dallas Winston always gets what he wants, no matter the cost. Though.. I didn't think I was in that category. He didn't want me, at least that's what I thought. Yet he still always made me cry, someway, somehow. Tears would always be the outcome of us.

I wanted to make him feel how I felt. I wanted him to understand what he put me through— but I knew I couldn't. He was cold, he could never cry no matter what. No boy ever could, that's why they never understood us girls. I wanted them to understand how much they always hurt us with their immaturity.

— AND HOW I   WISH   I COULD MAKE  BOYS  CRY

A/N

hi! sorry this chapter is so short! it's sort of like a filler chapter but I hope it still adds to the story in some way or another. I hope that the next chapter will be more detailed and action packed as well as longer. I also hope to develop Cerise and Dally's relationship further. I'm currently going through a rough patch with not only mental health but just relationship issues— so you can kinda see my own emotions shine through in some parts. I hope some of you guys can maybe even relate. Due to these circumstances the next chapter might take a little longer depending where my head is at, I hope you understand and thank you!