𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋 | 𝟏𝟖+

XL

Ryan

He pulls away from me almost immediately, "Do you understand what it means to go insane?" He asks me.

What? I remain silent and he continues; "You don't, do you? You don't know how it feels to have one person invade something you didn't know was possible. And you just act as if you're so okay with this. Do you understand how criminal and dangerous this is?" He asks me.

Dangerous?

"What about this is criminal, Oliver?" I ask him.

"Having you and not being able to have all of you!" He raises his voice at me.

I exhale softly as he continues; "Your heart does not belong to me. Regardless of what Lorenzo wishes to believe, it doesn't belong to him either, and you know it. Which makes this entire thing insufferable and cruel. Not only to yourself but to me as well." He explains.

Oh.

"I don't want to hurt you, Oliver. I don't want to any of you." I tell him honestly.

"The only person that will get hurt is you, Ryan." He warns me. "and if that means you and your brothers won't, then I don't care." I tell him.

"But I do. Who are you to try and make us feel happy, or feel joy, or any of the sort! Who are you to tell me you can fix us. It is not your job. And I understand that you think by having us share you as if you are an object that we all will be okay bu..." I cut him off immediately.

"That is not what this is...." I trail off.

"Then what is it? What is it called when three brothers are too sleep with the same woman they all love, Ryan?" He asks me harshly.

"I don't know" I answer and the honest truth was I didn't. There was not a word to describe this. Our relationship. It just happened. And I'm not sure what to make of it but I truly don't care what to label it.

He stares at me and I stare at him as we both breathe as rain pour down on the both of us. "you don't?" He asks me.

"B-but why do I too. Why can't I just live for right now. There doesn't have to be word for whenever this is. Why can't you understand that?" I ask him.

"Because I refuse too."

He states as breaks eye contact turning away from me as if he was going to end the conversation when I quickly grab onto his arm stopping him.

Within that moment everything between changed, no words were exchanged from either of us. Instead he turns around and pulls me closer to him, kissing me passionately once again.

I moan into his mouth feeling his touch parts of me that we're begging to be touched. It was as if I could feel my heart in my throat as I struggle to breathe.

"I can't"

His actions were in disagreement with his own words. As if he wanted to stop because he knew this wasn't right, yet wanted to continue because it felt so right.

He kisses me passionately tugging my body closer to his, as he trails away from my lips, and bites my neck softly and I can't stop myself for wanting more.

More than I should need.
More than I wanted.

"I must stop."

He tells me while leaving soft kisses along my neck, before making his way back to my lips.

"Please...." I choke out begging him not too trying to catch my breath, as grips my body tighter.

"Tell me to stop, Ryan."