𝗜 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿.
☽☽☽
She captivated Bucky instantly during their first interaction. He cannot, however, express his feelings due to her bloodline and relat...
I thought this was the right thing, and I still know that it is, but I hate it. I hate seeing the look on her face when we end up in the same room together. Or, when I walk past her room to go to bed and hear her crying herself to sleep through the door. Every part of me wanted to run in there and comfort her, but I know that I did this to her and that it is for the best. It still doesn't hurt. I shouldn't be hurt like this. I'm the one who put us both in this situation. I'm the one hurting both of us.
Through this pain, I did the one thing I could think of that would help. So, I left my bedroom after showering and my gym session to go to the basement. No one rarely goes down here, and when they do, they are only here for one of two things. To go into the supply closet for something in the lab, or to use the bar. I know it's pretty useless for me to drink, but it's the only thing I can think about. I've only been here for 10 minutes, and I've already downed one bottle of bourbon. I felt the effects for a few minutes, but they quickly died down when my insane immune system decided to stop it. God, sometimes I hate being a super soldier. When the bottle was empty, I threw it against the wall in anger, the glass smashing against the marble and scattering across the floor. A scream poured out of my lips, a cry for help which I know will go unheard.
I've had enough of feeling sorry for myself when I know I was the one who put myself in this situation, so I throw myself out of the door and into the elevator. I press the button and wait to arrive at the ballroom. When I do, I stumble over to the bar, pulling out the secret bottle of Asgardian liquor. I know this is about to rock my shit, but I also know this will help numb that shit feeling inside of me. So, I flick the lid off the bottle and down most of the liquid down my throat. It burned, but I push through it. I just need to forget my mind.
As I'm pouring the last remaining drops of alcohol, I hear the door open and heavy footsteps walking towards me, but they are muffled. Jesus Christ, this shit is good. Steve sits down on the bar stool beside me, sighing as he grabs the empty bottle from my hands. He places it away from me and grabs my hand that tries to grab it again, even though I know it's empty. I'm not in the right state of mind right now.
"What's going on?" He asks.
"Don't worry about it," I mumble.
"I will, and I do." He sighs. "You're drunk, and Eden is crying in her room with the door locked. So, I need to know what's going on."
"I did this." I sob. "I've broken her, haven't I?"
"I don't know." He doesn't lie, which I don't know if I appreciate or not. "What happened?"
"I stopped it all."
"After Eden and Tony's argument?"
"Yeah," I nod my head. "I don't want to be in the middle of them anymore. So, I stopped it."
"You broke up with her?" He seems shocked.
"Yes," I cry. "I want to take it back, but I know I shouldn't. She can talk with Tony now without arguing."
"But they are. They're still arguing."
"God," I sigh. "She didn't want to talk with Tony. She wanted me to stay and break her relationship. But, I can't do that anymore. I can't keep breaking this family apart."
"You are not breaking anything." Steve grabs my shoulder. "The Soldier took his parents away, and you are both adults, you can choose to be in a relationship if you want to. Tony needs to grow up."
"But he never will." I look over at him. "And, If I can at least try and make things better, then I need to."
"Okay," Steve sighs. "Let's get you showered, some food in your system and to bed. You need to sleep and then we can deal with your hangover in the morning."
"No, I just want to keep drinking. Let me keep drinking."
"No, I can't let you do this to yourself." He shakes his head. "Things will get better, and you need to be sober when they do."
"How do you know that?" I shout. "I ruined the one good thing I had in my life, and I will never get that back. I don't blame Eden if she hates me."
"She doesn't hate you, she's just hurt."
"But, she should. I do."
"Come on, Bucky." Steve stands up from the still, pulling me with him. "Let's get you to bed."
"I don't want to."
"You need to."
Steve pulls me away from the bar and through the doors. We make it to the elevator, and I can't keep it in anymore. My body droops as I cry my eyes out, my head falling onto Steve's shoulder. Steve strokes my arm as he lets me cry on his shoulder, pressing the button to our shared level. When we make it to my room, Steve catches me as I fall onto my bed, my face pushed into my pillow. The tears don't stop as Steve walks into the kitchen and then comes back with a plate of food. I don't even know what it is, and I don't care. Now that I can't drink, I just want to sleep away the evergrowing headache. Steve doesn't leave my room until he knows that I'm either asleep or okay, as he said.
