- DISTRACTION ;; r.itoshi

23

---- bones and all


rin came back from practice tired, sore and fatigued. pain echoed throughout his limbs—his muscles and bones were desperate to release themselves from the strenuous work rin would put himself through.
rin liked to torture himself in such a way—it made him forget about his life and his pain. for why would he confront his emotional pain when he could hide it with his physical pain?
he didn't like confronting his emotional pain—it made him feel weak and he was not weak, far from it or at least, that's what he liked to believe.

but before attending to himself, rin had a task to fulfil--a task he had given himself. his hands reached the pockets of his uniform's pants and pulled out his phone; the light emitting from it nearly blinded but he managed to open his messages app and type a text for her:

Hey, are you okay? I noticed you didn't come today so I wanted to check up on you.|
Hey, are you okay? I noticed you didn't come to|
Hey, are you okay|

he sighed and removed everything from the text bar. why was he overthinking such a simple action? he rubbed his temples and wrote something new instead, something that made it seem as if he didn't miss her presence: 'Hello, are you okay? Kenyu told me you weren't feeling well.'

reluctantly, he pressed the "send" button and shut his phone, dropping it next to him. he sighed and rubbed his temples, waiting a few moments before grabbing himself a fresh pair of clothing and moving to his bathroom to shower.

during the time of his shower, he allowed himself to contemplate over her, specifically. usually, his showers would be short-lived and he'd only ever focus on his action. however, lately, he'd been spending more and more time there.

was it the tranquility it offered? the peace and silence it gave so he could spend all his precious time thinking and understanding himself? or was there another reason as well that he was too ashamed to admit? said reason being the certain h/c girl who managed to make him feel.

the sound of the shower rain falling on top of him managed to dull out his thoughts into a void--he was thinking of everything and nothing. his feelings were a mess, his behaviour was weird and he knew why but why didn't he do anything to get things back to as they were? why was he so inclined on continuing this pursuit? he knew. he knew the answer which was horrifying.

he had started to like yn.

how foolish of him to ever let his heart be caught by someone and someone like yn? it was weird but he couldn't help himself. after all, he did like her for reasons he clearly was aware of.

what hurt rin the most was the realisation that he probably wouldn't ever have her--she had made it clear that night at reo's. how foolish truly was this uncharacteristic pursuit of his. did he ever truly believe he had a chance with her? he was rin itoshi, after all, the man who only cared about his career--nothing more and nothing less. 

however, she managed to do the unthinkable--she managed to show him sides of himself that he didn't even know existed. to be honest, rin wouldn't mind exploring them further if it was with her.

rin finally admitted it--that he had harboured romantic feelings for yn. he liked her; he wanted her; he needed her.

satisfied with his realisation, he finally found the courage to exit the bathroom and dress himself in his clothes.

after attending to himself, he hurriedly opened his phone, anticipating her response but what he found was something that horrified to a large extent.

he scrolled through twitter and his messages where he had been numerously tagged by his team to a specific news account which had posted a picture of his yn next to an infamous soccer player of japan: aiku oliver. his heart dropped.

of course she wouldn't choose him, rin thought. how foolish could he have been? maybe his brother was right, after all.

what hurt rin the most was that she chose aiku on the same day he realised his feelings, what a shame and what angered him the most was allowing himself to fall so deep into the rabbit hole of romantic feelings--he had crawled so deep that no one would help him get up so he should just build his grave here, should he not?

it truly hurt rin to his yn be with someone else that wasn't him.

for why must love hurt a man like rin so much?

[ 761 words ]

my vb crush ryn said theyd be willing 2 date me who cheered !!!