A lost Soul

CHAPTER 5

Amethyst's P.O.V

I came out of the cafe and made my way to Jaxon's car which was parked in front of the cafe, like it always is, ready to pick me up after work everyday. My big brother makes his way here after he finishes work so that he can take me home with him.

I can't drive yet and it's too late to walk home by the time I finish my shift, So he waits half an hour in the car until I finish work.
I sat in the passenger seat and closed the door.

"Hey you" he said with a side way glance.
"Hey" I said. I let out a breath I hadn't realised if been holding.

"How was work?" He asked,
"The same as usual" I mumbled,
He chuckled before replying, "of course"
"How was your day?" I asked looking at him.

He looked tired. His blonde hair was messy. He got his blonde hair from our dad - completely opposite to my red velvet hair which I got from our mother. His emerald eyes (something we both shared and got from our mum) had bags underneath them.

"It was alright," he replied.
Jax works at a bowling alley. It's the bowling alley where we used to go every Sunday night before mum died. Mum and Jax always planned for him to get a job there.

It was a popular place and many people wanted to work there, so it was a big deal if you got the job....
Jax applied about a week before mum died and he got a call from the alley confirming he got the job about a month after she died. I still remember how upset he was that he couldn't celebrate with mum.

I shook the thoughts away.
Jax was 18. 2 years older than me. He dropped out of school last month. He said it was hard to get the hours he wanted when school was in the way. And he didn't want to find a new job, because the alley payed reasonably and it would take too long for him get a new one.

The drive home was quite. By the end of the day, we don't really talk much. We are usually too tired.
I closed my eyes and memories flashed back.

I remember when I got my job at the cafe and asked for double the hours I was given. Jax had picked me up after work that day, he saw how tired I was.

"You are better than this. You deserve to do better, Amy. You shouldn't have to wash dishes and pick up scraps to pay for the bills and food." Jax explained. He was so worried.
"Jax, I'm fine. Look, I'm not going it let you do this alone. I'm not going to let you work 24/7 with no rest! I'm going to help you." I had said.
"This is dads job.." He whispered. He had tears in his eyes.
I hugged him.
"He should be the one working. He should be the one giving up everything for us, not the other way around" he said in my ear.
"I'm so sorry, Amy" he said softly. "You don't deserve this."
And with that, I cried in his arms.
I cried. I let it all out. My sadness, my frustration.
It was true, Jax and I were doing what Dad should be doing. But all dad does is sit at home all day and drink. He lost it after mum died. He just.. Broke.

I opened my eyes and the memory of me talking to Mr Green came back to me.
I really hope he keeps his promise. I really do. The last thing I need is social workers rocking up to our house.
Jax pulled into our driveway and turned off the engine.

He turned to face me.
"How's school?" He asked me. I could see worry in his eyes. I rolled my eyes.
"School is fine. Grades are fine. Work is fine. I am fine." I said in a bored tone. I know he is just worried and cares for me but I don't WANT anyone to worry about me.

A look of hurt flashed across his eyes.
"I know you don't want people to pity you.."
I listened.
"I felt the same way. I still do. When I pass people in the street... The looks they give. Like they are sharing the burden of loosing... Her, with us."

I looked down at my hands to hide the tears forming in my eyes.
"They don't understand. They don't get it." He said softly.

"But I get it. We both feel the same trauma. I can help you, Amy. You just need to let me in. Please. Please don't shut me out." He cupped my cheek. I shook him away and ran out of the car and into the house.

I ran past dad and upstairs into my room.

I let go of my school bag and dropped onto my knees. I curled into a ball and cried in the darkness.