Reset and Rewind

Chapter 4 - Throwing away Chances

Katsuki couldn't believe they were seriously fighting about this. They both knew what was coming the first day of school: Aizawa sensei's dumb quirk apprehension test. Katsuki had asked Deku whether he was actually going to try this time around. He had changed things around during the entrance exam, so the ash blonde was expecting the nerd to at least want to get a good score and not get last place again. But instead, Izuku had reminded him that change was dangerous and that he didn't want to be the reason any of their classmates got expelled.

"But the second last place was Mineta," Katsuki pointed out, as if that was reason enough for Deku to try his best and not just throw it. And it was, in Katsuki's eyes. Mineta was a pest and a perv and he'd get expelled in their second year for his behavior anyway. They could do all the girls in their class a favor by getting rid of him earlier. Besides, Aizawa sensei might even keep him, since he wasn't actually planning on expelling anyone besides Izuku.

"Still, he had an impact on everything we've been through during our first year at UA. I don't want to risk him not being able to play his part," Izuku told him. It was frustrating how much Deku insisted on keeping things the same, on preserving the timeline or whatever, when they didn't even know if they were truly in the past or not. For all they knew, keeping things the same was exactly what was keeping them trapped here! Who knew how much time had already passed in the real world? They could've been in a coma for weeks, months, years, and they would be none the wiser.

"We'll figure things out, we always do."

"But we don't have to figure this out, Kacchan," Izuku frowned. "We know what we have to do. Or at least, I know that."

"What the fuck are you implying, Deku?" Katsuki hissed. "That I'll only screw things up? I want to get back to our present just as much as you do! And we both have no idea what we're supposed to do to make that happen so don't you dare try and tell me I'm doing shit wrong!"

"That's not what I'm saying, Kacchan!" Izuku yelled. "Why can't you just listen to me for once?! I'm not going to risk everything by being selfish! I'm not you!"

I'm not you!

Those words resonated within him, echoed through his mind as all he could do was stare at the boy he'd loved for most of his life. The boy he'd been so afraid to lose that he hadn't confessed his feelings until they were in their mid-twenties, despite knowing him his whole life. The boy that was now glaring at him, telling him he was wrong, that they were not the same. And they weren't. Katsuki knew that very well.

I'm not going to risk everything by being selfish!

No, of course not. Deku could never be selfish, even if he tried. The fact they got together in and of itself had been a selfless act on his part as well. Deku had given him a chance, even if he never thought about Katsuki that way before. Deku, who always put others before himself, who would rescue a stranger and risk his own life in the process, but never someone else's. Deku, for whom Katsuki founded Assembly, even if the green head himself will never know about it. Deku, the image of selflessness itself.

And Katsuki, the selfish brat. The pro hero with anger issues and the villainous quirk who got attacked and kidnapped and caused the fall of a pillar. Katsuki, who despite his track record was looked down upon by the public for being too mean, too scary. Katsuki, who'd never thought that Deku, of all people, would share that opinion.

Izuku quickly realized what he'd said, instantly regretting his words. He hadn't meant to say that, but in the spur of the moment he just... No, that wasn't an excuse. His lack of sleep or his endless worrying or the fact he'd been rereading his notebooks over and over and over again to find a little bit of new information, to remember something crucial, something that would finally get him back to a reality where he was loved and cared for- None of those were an excuse for the way he snapped at Kacchan. His childhood friend didn't even know about his recently developed insomnia, nor that the anxiety he thought he had under control kicked back in, hitting him in the face like a train at full speed.