Tatted

SHE KILLED ME

"Sometimes it's not the person you missed. It's the feeling you had when you were with them."

*****

TYLER'S POV

"You good, Clara?"

Clara continues scrubbing the dishes. "Yes, I just feel a little sick but it's fine. It happens all the time now, y'know, with being pregnant."

She's always been oblivious to her own self. Always pressuring herself and never taking care of herself when needed.

"You can go home, Clara." I beg her for the thousandth time. She never listens.

"I'm okay, Tyler. I jus-"

I cut her off before she can make another excuse. "I'm not gonna keep you or your babies here, you can pack up and leave. It's fine. You'll still get your check, you know this."

She stands there silently for a second, thinking, and I know I've won her over. She nods once and finally drops the dishes.

She turns around hastily, "Thank you and sorry. I promise I'll be back tomorrow." She apologizes.

"No, Clara. If you need tomorrow too that's fine. Don't apologize."

Clara's high-spirited and bubbly personality is something I love to see each day at the restaurant. She's always In a good mood, no matter what is going on in her life outside of work but she pushes herself too much. Now pregnant with twins, I want to make her accept that she needs a break once in awhile. She's always been a workaholic and although that's great for the restaurant it's not for her.

When i look back she's gone.

I feel vibrations against my leg and shuffle in my pocket for the vibrating phone. It's an unsaved number.

My expression brightened because it might be the person I've been wanting to hear from for so long. I've been wishing, praying that she'll forget what i told her before I left and finally call. I long to hear her gorgeous voice again.

I'm anxious to pick up because what if it is her? I don't think it's the right moment for a reunion. The phone keeps vibrating in my hand and I almost drop it. After debating with myself for a second or two I pick it up.

"Hello?" I can't recognize my own voice from it's shakiness.

"Hey, man," I hear Max's voice and am instantly stabbed in the chest with a hundred knives. I'm so disappointed I could cry. If I weren't on a call I would start sobbing. I feel a tight knot in my stomach.

"I got a new phone number as you can see. I wanted to- You okay? You sound weird." Max speaks through the phone.

I fix my voice and respond. "Yeah, I'm cool. What's up?"

"You have time?"

I look at the sign that read "closed" on the door. "Yeah,"

"Okay, it's about Gia."

Hearing her name, hearing somebody else talking about her, sends an alarm blaring in my chest. Not only am I anxious to hear what he has to say but the mention of her gorgeous self sends sparks through my body.

I didn't realize how much I actually missed her until now. Until I expected to hear her voice on this stupid call but instead it was just Max.

"Remember? The girl you brought to Lorenzo's party?" Max asks.

The memories of that day flood back so suddenly that I'm almost thrown aback. I can feel a lump starting to form in my throat.  I can't handle talking about her as if she was something of the past. She's not a memory, she's still here, just far away from where I am at the moment.