For you I'd risk it all

burn together

*Luisa*

I had been in front for a long time and had a good lead, but then Sebastian had come closer and closer. I hadn't gotten the weather announcement from Leo this time. I was almost sure that he had refused. He didn't want to give up the place any more than I did. This time Jan had given me the weather through when I could see Sebastian in the rear view mirror. So I had made room for him.

I had been able to see that he was up for a fight, he had literally been up for it, but I had just made room for him and then defended my second place. It was the best I could do out of the whole thing.

On any other weekend I would have been happy to cross the finish line as every second. But not today. Today it was tantamount to humiliation.

I probably would have felt the same way if I had finished last now.

The team stood cheering in the parc fermé. A successful weekend for the team. Even though I could see Leo's look quite clearly. He was as depressed as I was.

I tried really hard to look happy, but I just wasn't, because I knew I could have been first.

I accepted the trophy for second place and must have had the look on my face like I had just been told my death sentence. I just couldn't bring myself to be happy.

Yes a second place was great, but it wasn't what I deserved after this weekend.

I could have done more if they had just let me drive. I could have taken first place. I could have taken the first win for our team.

Of course, the joy in the team was great when we came back to the pits. I was coerced into taking a team picture, then the party dispersed throughout the pits and I retired.

Yes, I was happy for our mechanics, whose work was totally paying off, but I definitely didn't feel like celebrating. I just wanted to...

I didn't know what I wanted. I would have been happy if Phil had been with me, but he wasn't. He was in the pits celebrating with the others, while I sat alone in my driver's compartment, venting frustration. I let my head sink forward.

Would it always be like this now?

Would I always have to give up my place to him when I was better?

What was I really trying for then?

If I had to give up my place to him anyway?

I buried my face in my hands as the door opened.

"What's the matter? Lost the will to fight in Baku or what was that today?", I raised my head.

He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

"You know exactly what that was," I hissed.

Wasn't it enough that they favored him? Did he have to rub my nose in it now, too?

"Yeah. You just pulled over to the side, I was expecting a little more resistance.", he leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I just did what was asked of me. Team order is team order.".

His brow suddenly furrowed.

He pushed himself off the door frame and took a few steps over to me "What was that?"

"Do you really have to rub my nose in the fact that they favor you now? Isn't it enough that you got first place today? That this is the second time I've had to back down for you? Can't you at least let it go today?", I hissed angrily.

I pushed myself up from the sofa and just wanted out. I didn't want to discuss this with him right now, and I certainly didn't want to let him screw me over.