For you I'd risk it all

explosion

*Luisa*

For four days I had rested, but only because I had to. If it had been up to me, I would have been back in the fitness center the day after the race.

After four days I finally got the green light from the doctors and now I hit the punching bag with full fury.

Fuck Sebastian!

His words had not let me go in the four days of rest. He wanted war. He had literally challenged it and no matter how much it spurred me on, no matter how good it might make me, it burned painfully inside me. That he thought I was weak and believed I wanted special treatment, however, was perhaps what drove me up the wall the most. I had never expected special treatment in all the years I was now racing. However, I was used to my teammate and I at least not trying to play hardball with each other. We had always tried to be considerate of each other, in a way, and at least not destroy each other's race, but Sebastian saw it differently.

For him, there was no team on the race track. So there wouldn't be for me either. I would attack him. Without consideration for losses.

I puffed heavily between blows.

What exactly Phil had said on the subject, I didn't know. And how Sebastian apparently knew what he had said was even more of a mystery to me.

But I hadn't even been able to ask Phil, because when I had gotten home I had found that he was away on business. He had rearranged his schedule because he had thought that I would not be coming home.

And so I had sat home alone for four days planning my revenge.

Fuck Phil!

It felt like our relationship had been on the rocks since Bahrain. The fact that he had simply driven had made me angry, or rather disappointed. He as my future husband should have supported me. He should have been there. He should have loved me.

Shit, I loved him so much and I would have done anything for him. I had been to every one of his boring promotion parties and had shined as the woman by his side. I had always been there when there had been something special in his life and he couldn't even watch my first race in Formula One all the way?

It made me angry and for the first time I let that anger out.

I loved him, but he had hardly been to any of my races and he hadn't been there when I had won it Foemel E. He had never been there for me. Even Max and his father, who I couldn't even stand, had seen more races of mine.

Now my fists were just thundering on the punching bag.

I was roaring with rage. And still I would let a VIP pass be packed back for him in Australia. I would buy him plane tickets again and hope he came. I always hoped he would come and someday maybe understand why all this was my life.

Completely out of breath, I slumped in front of the punching bag. Maybe I had overdone it a bit. My heart rate just shot through the roof and before my eyes it was spinning a bit. But at least I felt a little less angry.

I just let myself fall backwards, spread my arms and took deep breaths.

Maybe I could visit Max and Checo in Monaco. A little time with friends and Monaco could never hurt, could it?

I would call Max later. Surely there was a hotel near his apartment. And Monaco was beautiful. Maybe I would want to live there myself someday. Because Frankfurt wasn't exactly my dream home. I was here because of Phil. Because his main office was here and it was easiest for him. For me it didn't matter in the end. There was a big airport and I had to travel a lot anyway. I could do that from Frankfurt just as well as from anywhere else.