Painful - A Jacksepticeye x Depressed Reader FanFiction

Chapter 11 - One week in peace

Sean pov.

I was glad that (y/n) was feeling better. She seemed much happier the last few days than she was before. I know I barely knew her before, but just remembering the thing in the park was a very good comparison to her current self.

But no one could know how things would turn out. Especially now that she would soon be going back to school. She would be sitting in a room with all those people again - those people who had just looked away. Not just Monday, but before that too. All this time (y/n) had been asking for help, but no one had the courage to stand up and make a change.

The situation made me angry. I felt like I had to talk about it. I didn't want other people to feel that way. I knew I had to use my audience to make a difference. I went into my Office and hit "record" on my camera.

It took me 2 hours until I was done. 2 hours of raw footage of me talking to the audience about bullying, cyberbullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts. I would edit it down and maybe rerecord some parts but I was feeling better already. "If I can change one persons view on bullying, I have already won", I thought. I saw a text from Robin. He saw that I dropped a large file into the raw footage folder. "Thanks, but I'll edit this one myself." "Bullying, huh..." "Yeah. Trying to use the huge audience as a way to change something..." "Is it about (y/n)?" "...Kinda..." "Listen. I don't want to talk you out of it or interfere, but... you have to be careful with what you say in the video. Even if the majority doesn't yet know that the two of you have become friends - some will know that you're talking about her. And I've seen some of her videos: she's never spoken about it publicly. That's why you can't take that decision away from her. It's her story and that's why it should be her decision whether she is makes it public or not..."

Robin was right. It was not my choice to speak up about (y/n)'s experiences. It was her decision if she ever wants to make a video about it. "Thanks pal. Haven't considered it that way. I'll rerecord it." "No problem." "Talk to you soon." So I rerecorded the video without talking about (y/n)'s experiences. I remembered a lot from the original video, so this time it only took me 40 minutes until I was done.

(y/n) pov.

Sunday went by fast. Most of the day I tried to clean my apartment as best as I could – and I took some naps in between. I felt tired all the time – probably due to all the painkillers I got during my hospital stay. In the evening I posted an update on my YouTube and streaming schedule. I was still not ready to talk about what happened publicly, so I decided to wait some more days until I would go live again. Sean and I agreed to go to the cinema on Wednesday. I was excited to see Age of Ultron – even though I technically did already see it. I was still not able to remember anything that happened prior to the accident. And I doubt that this would change. Those hours were gone.

Sean and I would not meet until Wednesday. We both had a lot to do. Sean had to record and stream and I had to prepare myself for Monday. There was a lot of stuff I've missed in school - and I had to prepare myself mentally. A lot of questions, a lot of people staring. I felt a shiver down my spine.

The police reached out to me on Monday. They asked me if I could come into the station to get questioned. I called a cab and went there. The officers were nice. I told them everything I remembered. And I told them the backstory. Why they bullied me and so and so. It was quite traumatic, but at least it was not taking too long. They wrote down everything I said and then I was free to go. They told me to look out for any notifications on whether there would be a trial or not.

On Wednesday Sean texted me in the morning, saying he would pick me up at 3 pm. I wore a nice dress, some comfortable shoes and put on a little bit of make-up. I wanted to look nice. During my hospital stay I was not looking my best and I wanted Sean to see that I was doing and feeling better. 5 minutes before 3 I went downstairs and waited.

"Hey", he greeted me as I opened the car door. "Hey. How are you?" I was a bit nervous. I still was not sure what I felt for Sean and how I could stop those feelings from potentially ruining my friendship with him. And I knew that Sean felt the same and I was not sure how I would react if he would try to 'act on them'. I had never kissed someone before. I never told someone I liked them before ether. I was a bit panicking inside but I tried to pull myself together. "I'm good thanks. What about you?", he answered. "I'm starting to regain some energy." "That sounds wonderful. So, you won't nap during the movie." "Definitely not. I'm so excited to watch it." We drove to the cinema. This time I paid for the tickets and snacks. "You did not need to do that", Sean said. "I wanted to say thank you for everything you've done for me. You've been there for me ever since we met, and you helped me so much after the accident." He smiled. He would not argue about that.

The next few days went by fast. I managed to finish all the schoolwork I missed during my hospital stay. Sean travelled to an event in the UK. I had to cancel my trip there since I was not ready to travel out of country or attend a big event. And school also would not have made it possible. There were only so many days I could be missing class before I would get in trouble. And I would not risk failing my final year. Graduating in summer was the number 1 thing on my list.

~ Monday ~

I did not sleep well. In fact, I hardly slept at all. I got up early, got dressed, combed my hair, put on some make-up. I wanted to look as good as possible. I knew people would stare at me the entire time. And they would whisper and talk about me. There was nothing I could do to avoid it. They'd probably already talked about it enough throughout the week I was gone.

I opened Whatsapp. It was time to finally go through all the messages from my classmates that came in during that week. I did not even want to read them. I knew most of them were fake apologizing for not being there for me in the past and stuff like that. They wanted to get on my good side because of the ongoing investigation. Now that the school wanted to "take actions" they did not want to risk being exposed for the snakes they were. They were all afraid that one word from me and they could get expelled. But I was too mature to take advantage over such power. I just wanted to be able to exist in peace for the rest of the schoolyear. The only person I had no mercy for was (y/b/n). I was looking forward seeing him in court. I was curious if he would still act his usual self or if he would cry and beg for my forgiveness...

I had a meeting with the principal. I entered her office without saying anything. "It's nice to see you. I'm glad you recovered so quickly from your accident." I raised an eyebrow. You and an apology? I knew what this was going to lead to. "On behalf of the school, I would like to apologize to you once again. I know now that I should have acted sooner." "I really hope that things will change from now on..." "Of course. I've already had a meeting with the police and some organisations. We'll run a campaign against bullying soon and I will send all the teachers to a special training, so they learn how to act when they notice someone getting bullied by their classmates. I'll do everything I can to prevent something like that from ever happening again." I nodded. "I know that unfortunately this doesn't change your situation. Unfortunately, I can't undo what happened, but I can try to do better in the future." I nodded again. There was not much I could say. She had already said everything, apologized and promised to do better in the future. She also had good plans and I sincerely hoped that she would continue with them even after I graduated.

"Do you know what happened to (y/b/n)?", I asked. "His parents spoke to him and after they found out what he had done, they didn't want to post bail either. So he will remain in custody until the trial. As for school...I expelled him." I nodded. "Thank you for the information." I was relieved to hear that he was in custody. I was a little afraid that he would come to me and threaten me. Either to threaten me or to ingratiate themselves with me. But now I did not have to worry about that anymore.

After that there was nothing more to talk about. I gave her a folder with all the schoolwork I caught up during the past week. She promised me to distribute the notes to the individual teachers, so I did not need to do that. I thanked her. Before I left her office, she quickly said, "If you have any problems, don't hesitate to contact me." I nodded and then made my way to class.