The funeral was horrible. Valentina felt like she was in a daze as it all went down. It was all a blur, and she felt like it was all a horrible dream that she would somehow wake up from. There were so many people, so many Valentina didn't even know. So many didn't even bother to show up at the hospital to visit her mother after she fell sick. She understood that they were there because they knew her, that it was a sick reminder that they were all mortal, and any of them could have been in her place. But still, she didn't want them there. She felt like they weren't worthy to see her mother get taken on her last journey.
Valentina also saw Luca and her friends in the crowd, but she didn't want to speak to them. She locked eyes with them once, but that was it, she couldn't bear to look at them again. She was alone for the majority of the time, making sure no one would approach her, but that didn't stop some old acquaintances of her mother to go up to her and express their sorrow about her death. It was somewhat understandable, but it still boiled Valentina's blood. These were all people who weren't on talking terms with her mother anymore. Who weren't in the position to be in as much pain as her. She felt selfish, she knew she was selfish.
The whole experience was undoubtedly painful. Valentina sobbed through it all with her father by her side. He did all the talking when needed, but she wished for all the people to disappear so she could finally be alone with her mother's casket. The ceremony was never-ending, and the priest who spoke about her mother greatly irritated her. Because he didn't know her. How could someone like that speak about her and say prayers when he learned her name a couple of days prior to it all?
Valentina kept to herself. All of her tissues were almost fully used now, but she didn't care. She tried to pretend to be alone, and it worked like magic most of the time. The little church emptied out quickly after the priest was done talking, so Valentina stepped forward and kneeled at her mother's casket, crying silently. Her father joined her a moment later, and they stayed there for a while until they were ready to go and watch her go on her last trip.
They were the ones walking at the front when four grave diggers carried the casket to the grave. They didn't want anyone with personal ties to carry it, since it was too heavy for Valentina to join in, and she refused to let it be carried without her. When the committal service happened, Valentina had to watch those men bury her mother in a personalized grave they paid so much for, yet it still felt like it wasn't enough. Valentina and her father made sure it suited her mother's taste, but the sight was still heart-wrenching. How could a grave ever be homey? It would just always be cold and unwelcoming.
She stood there at the front beside her dad, watching as they finally slid the top of the grave on, locking it in place. The casket was buried at last, and they made sure to remove all the dirt that ended up on the grave with some brooms. They left soon after, and all the people standing around began to place the flowers they brought onto the grave, while Valentina remained unmoving. She wanted to be last, she wanted to be alone with her mother.
She knew there would be some kind of post-service gathering afterward, where most people wouldn't stay, but the closest family members would, and they were supposed to talk about her mom. Needless to say, Valentina was skipping that. She planned to stay beside the grave until she could, until she was so cold that she physically couldn't stay anymore.
When it was only her and her father left, he placed the bouquet of flowers in his hands onto the grave's center, then hugged his daughter, letting all the tears and feelings that built up throughout the day free. He clung onto her as he let his tears fall, and she held him, feeling more numb than anything. Her tears either dried out, or she was saving them for later. It was her father's time to grieve a little. He was the one who endured all the talking and planning after all. She was just there, keeping to herself and hiding away in her room without food for days.
Finally, her father let go of her, pulling back as he wiped his tears away. They locked eyes and he squeezed her shoulder one last time, murmuring a quiet 'I'll be back' before walking away in the snow. He was going back to the little house beside the church, the funeral reception's place, where he would be forced to talk to family members for the rest of the evening, giving him little time to breathe and grieve.
It wasn't very fair, she knew, but she was skipping it.
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And now...
The epilogue.
YOU ARE READING
Business And Hopelessness
Romance"Your hair is full of snow," He chuckled as he looked at her, reaching out to push a strand of hair behind her ear. Some snow successfully fell off her, but he didn't withdraw his hand. He cupped her cheek, wiping away a few snowflakes from it. She...
