Destined to be Together

Chapter 39

Hearing Jasmeet's name, Karishma's heart pounded and a look of uneasiness came on her face. Within that fraction of a second, all the memories of love loss, discomfort, and loneliness came flooding back to her. The tear pricked her eyes and she was not able to hold herself. She clenched her fist tightly and closed her eyes to calm herself. Karishma controlled her inner turmoil and wanted to avoid the situation. Therefore, she stood up and walked away without saying a word to Haseena. She avoided eye contact with her so that no one would be able to see her in such a vulnerable state.

Haseena looked at Karishma's retreating figure and felt guilty for hurting her. In her mind, it felt as if she was losing some piece of herself and she had to stop it before it led to further complications.

Haseena quickly ran and grabbed her wrist as Karishma too stopped but was too consumed with her desolation that she was rendered numb. Grabbing her arm, Haseena stood next to her. It was that emptiness in her eyes and the hurt on her face that was so painful to see some months back when she had her breakdown that Haseena didn't want to see again. Haseena's heart ached even as she remembered that day. Then she squeezed Karishma's arm tightly, making wrinkles on her sweatshirt, and spoke, "Maaf kar sakti hai hume jante hai bohot badi galati kar di...... Humara irada aapko taklif pochane ka nahi tha.... Hum toh aapne khawab mai bhi aapko taklif nahi de sakte par aaj pata nahi kaise aapke purane zakham kurad diye..... Jante hai haad par kar gaye na baato baato mai"

Karishma did not respond, but she did not move either. In an effort to hold herself together, she closed her eyes. "Hume maaf kar dijiye hum aapki berukhi bardasht kar sakte hai par aapse duri nahi. Hum humari dosti khona nahi chahte" pleaded Haseena in a cracked voice

Karishma has still not responded. The war was being fought between her mind and her heart. Her mind was trying to take her back to her dreadful past, while her heart wanted to console Haseena who was blaming herself for no reason. To find tranquility in that moment, Haseena rested her forehead on Karishma's shoulder as her eyes welled up as she was able to sense her pain. As a lump formed in Karishma's throat, she was unable to speak. The two had been in the same position for some time, feeling each other's heartbeats which were closely synchronized. Karishma wanted to pull Haseena away, but her heart couldn't allow that. As she felt the warmth of love and affection after many years, she yearned for that warmth near her.

After a while, Karishma's body started to loosen up and she started feeling better. Karishma turned a bit toward Haseena, who was still clutching her arm and bowing her head. Then Karishma pulled her hand away from her grip and grabbed Haseena by the arm, saying, "Mai thik hu galib."

Upon hearing Galib, Haseena glanced at Karishma in astonishment, while Karishma saw tears in her eyes and felt as if someone had squeezed her heart out. She moved forward and wiped her tears and said "Please stop crying..... Mai thik hu bas thodi der akhele rehna chahti hu bas"

As Karishma was leaving once again, Haseena gently grabbed her hand and said "Bilkul nahi usdin aapne kaha tha na k as long as we are friends you are not walking through anything alone. I will be there." As Karishma turned towards her, she said "Toh fir hum bhi humare dost ko akela nahi shod sakte. Pata ha Aparnaji kaha karti thi k hum jitna aapne attit se bhagenge utna vo hume bhaagata hai aur hum attit se toh bhag sakte hai par wajood se nahi" directly looking into her eyes.

While Karishma was looking at her, Haseena led her over to the couch and said, "Hum jante hai vo aapke zindagi ka sabse sensitive topic hai aur aap aapni Amma se bhi baat nahi kar pati uske bare mai. Regardless of how well we master our art of evasion, one day your dismal heart will overwhelm you and the dam will burst, leaving only ruin in its wake."

In stunned silence, Karishma stared at her while Haesena continued," Upon being asked, we reply with subtle "okays" as if we're not brewing a storm inside, as if we're not hanging by a thread of hope and our mind isn't ticking away to let the thread slip. However, there will come a day when we will have no more "okays" in us, only carcasses of hope. Expressing our emotions explicitly is the best way to restore the mental equilibrium. Hum khud bhi lad rahe hai aapne attit se par humne khudko ek mauka diya aur isliye shayad lad rahe hai. Hum aapko humse discuss ya share karne k liye nahi keh rahe hai par chahte hai k aap bhage nahi kyuki hum jis Karishma singh ko jante hai aur thoda samjne lage hai vo bohot hi jada strong aur fearless hai. Aap baithiye hum coffee late hai aapke liye."