Long Way Home

Chapter 15

August 2017

The older boy almost looked like a toddler caught with a handful of candy, and Spencer felt a single, little butterfly flutter in her stomach. He always cared about her when they were younger, and he just confirmed that the care and worry he constantly felt for her continued even once they stopped talking.

"I wrote it after we left, after we all stopped talking. I just couldn't stop thinking about whether you were okay or not." He whispered. "That I wasn't there for you anymore if you needed me."

It was silent for a few minutes while Spencer processed the new information, wetting her lips and biting at her cheek. "Do the others know? That it's about me?"

Ashton started shaking his head before he even answered verbally, furrowing his brows. He'd never tell a soul about Spencer's past, it was her choice who she shared that with. He felt guilty enough about writing about it. "No one knows, I promise." He took a deep breath. "I wasn't going to share the song to begin with, but one day Cal saw what I had been working on and made me show the others."

"I really don't know what to say." She whispered, looking at him again with a growing grin. "I could totally fangirl right now and freak out that 5 Seconds of Summer has multiple songs about me."

The tension that had been suffocating the two of them vanished when Ashton chuckled, smiling at the blonde happily. "Oh Spence, there are so so many more songs about you."

"Tell me more!" Still grinning, she grabbed his hand and stared at him excitedly. It wasn't everyday you learn you have songs written about you. "Ashton, you have to tell me more."

"I don't have to do anything." He continued laughing, shaking his head. "I promise that you'll learn more as time goes on, none of us can't keep our mouths shut about that kind of thing."

Spencer was tempted to roll her eyes and laugh, but instead just sighed dramatically as he put the car in drive again. "I'll just get you guys drunk and you'll tell me anything I want to know."

The two of them laughed with each other quietly until it slowly faded out, and the tension started filling the car again. "I'm sorry, Spence. I have to ask because it's all I've thought about since I've seen you last." Ashton paused, taking a deep breath, his eyes focused on the road while his mind was elsewhere. "Things did get better with your dad right? When you told me all those years ago? You said he stopped."

Spencer took a shaky breath, looking down at her lap for a moment. "Things did get better, he did stop for a while." She paused, shrugging her shoulders. "But once we were back in New York, he started drinking a lot more. I was fine though, I made it through."

That same devastated look when Ashton first learned of her home life was back, and it crushed her all over again. All she wanted to see was his dimples but they were nowhere to be seen. "Spence, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." He shook his head at himself. "I don't know what happened. I was always so scared to reach out cause I thought you hated me, then when I went to try, I couldn't find your number."

"Ash..." Spencer furrowed her brows, shaking her head as the whisper fell from her lips. "It's not your fault. I moved out within like two years though. I'm okay."

"Why didn't your mom ever do anything about it?" He quickly blurted out, already knowing the answer, but he was frustrated. He always was. With himself, with her parents, even with Spencer because she wouldn't let him tell someone.

"She tried, but there was only so much she could do." The girl shrugged. "If she tried standing up to him, nine times out of ten he would hurt both of us and honestly it wasn't worth it."